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Scone Spy: Balmalcolm’s Muddy Boots offers sweet treats… and a giant jumping pillow

Muddy Boots cafe (Andrew Cawley / DC Thomson)
Muddy Boots cafe (Andrew Cawley / DC Thomson)

A visit to a place you can have a nibble on a sweet treat and then roll down a hill inside a huge inflatable ball or zoom down a grassy slope on a sledge fitted with mini tank tracks.

I’m sorely tempted by the giant jumping pillow (like an enormous bouncy castle without the sides) on my way in to the Muddy Boots cafe, but I resist the temptation.

It’s all about the scone, after all.

I’m familiar with the place, having taken my daughter there when she was a nipper, so I know what to expect.

You get to the cafe through the farm shop, which is stuffed with appealingly grubby fresh veg and tasty looking deli-style grub.

The cafe itself is big. High ceilings and a wooden roof give it the feel of a barn conversion, while the walls are clad in stylish modern wallpaper that bring it bang up to date.

The focal point is a fabulous circular real fire stove in the middle of the room, surrounded by comfortable leather sofas.

At weekends the competition for the cosy fireside seats is intense, with people hovering like hawks and sprinting like Usain Bolt running for the bus when a space becomes available.

I was disappointed, then, to discover that the fire was out.

I guess it’s not economically viable to have it roaring on a dreich Tuesday afternoon, but given the grey day outside I was looking forward to toasting my tootsies while I scoffed a warm scone.

I chose a table in the corner and ordered at the counter.

The cafe interior (Andrew Cawley / DC Thomson)
The cafe interior (Andrew Cawley / DC Thomson)

The staff were smiley and polite and there was plenty of choice food wise, from burgers (£6.95) and nachos (£4.15) to a BLT with guacamole (£5.85) and soup of the day (£3.65).

In the end I plumped for the tempting sausage baguette (a sweet chilli pork sausage with mango chutney) followed by a fruit scone.

I noticed how quite the place was as I waited for my meal. Not surprising seeing as it was 2pm midweek – any time I’ve been at weekends the place is bouncing (literally when it comes to that giant jumping pillow). But I think the atmosphere would have massively benefitted from a little music.

I know that’s a real divider, with may people hating “muzak”, but I always find it a bit unsettling when an eatery like this is big and empty and echoes to the sound of a handful of hushed conversations and the chink of teaspoons on cups. But maybe that’s just me.

The food was a real mixed bag, and I couldn’t help feeling that just a tiny bit more effort and attention to detail could have elevated it to a level of quality that would reflect the pleasant surroundings.

The sausage and chutney were absolutely delicious, but the baguette was cold and soft. How much nicer it would have been crusty and warm. Is it too much to ask to pop it in the oven for a few minutes?

Likewise the scone tasted lovely and was light as could be, but I didn’t even get the offer of having it heated up, which was a real shame.

Just little things, and easily sorted, but it’s the details that count when it comes to being the best.

Still, if there’s one thing that makes up for culinary disappointment it’s bouncing in the rain on a giant pillow. Even when you’re 41.

THE VERDICT:

Warm welcome: 8/10

Location, Location: 8/10

Scone score: 7/10