Jak Trueman’s mum writes book to help cope with the death of her inspirational son

THE mum of inspirational cancer teenager Jak Trueman is writing a book about her battle to cope with her son’s death.

Allison Barr hopes the tear-fuelled account will help others and prove cathartic in her ongoing battle to cope with grief.

It is six months since the 15-year-old from Mid Calder, West Lothian, lost his battle against a rare form of blood cancer.

In the 10 days between discovering his cancer could not be treated and passing away, Jak achieved a lifetime of memories from raising tens of thousands of pounds towards creating a special den for sick children, to attending his school prom with his girlfriend, hastily arranged to ensure the couple had a party like no other.

As news of the teenager’s heartbreaking plight spread, thousands of people around the world sent donations and messages of love and support.

Allison hopes the book will celebrate that remarkable period, where Jak’s courage and dignity inspired so many people.

“I want to get some of the taboo away from death,” she explained. “I want people to know it’s okay to grieve and feel rotten.

“After all, there will always be a massive part missing. But there just isn’t enough help out there for them.”

The book will be titled My Beautiful Boy.

Already Allison, a primary school music teacher, has penned the first three chapters.

At its heart will be her own story of coping with grief, from the numb aftermath of Jak’s funeral when her body shut down to the point that even tears wouldn’t flow, abnd then to three weeks later when they wouldn’t stop.

“It hit me even more during the school summer holidays,” she added.

“We used to spend summer as a family, the kids would be off and I was at home too. The reality hit.”

She hopes writing the book will encourage people to discuss grief and shine a light on how challenging cancer treatment can be.

“But I want it to be a celebration of his life, to let people know there is hope and you can still honour your child and still love them even though you no longer have them,” she added.

The book will also touch on how Allison and her family plan to keep his memory alive by helping others.

Soon after Jak’s diagnosis, he said he wanted to create a special meeting place for other ill young people, where they could relax, chat and support each other.

A charity called the Team Jak Foundation was set up to raise money for what was dubbed “Jak’s Den”.

Now, as part of the celebrations to mark what would have been Jak’s 16th birthday this month, supporters are planning a series of events which it’s hoped will see it smash its £100,000 target in time for his big day.

“We are asking people on Facebook to join in over 16 days and carry out a random act of kindness or mention something they’re grateful for, then tag 16 people to encourage them to do the same,” said Allison.

“On the weekend before his birthday, we’ll have a huge ‘gold’ themed event at The Centre in Livingston.”

It’s the kind of thing that Jak kind-hearted, always keen to help others and with a love for performing would surely have loved.

But while creating his “Den” is at the top of Allison’s to-do list, there are other plans too.

Team Jak now provides a voucher to grieving parents, so they too can have a special cuddly toy handmade in their favourite clothes a poignant keepsake.

Allison has one herself, made from Jak’s favourite blue shirt.

Losing Jak hit his sister Aimee hard, which is why by the end of October, Allison hopes to have set up a special sibling support group to help brothers and sisters of desperately-ill teenagers and children. Eventually she hopes to create a similar support network for parents.

It’s a remarkable legacy for a boy who lived just 15 years but who confronted terminal illness with a giant smile and a determination not to let it get anyone down.

“Watching your child waiting to die is horrific. Yet he was outstanding. Amazing,” smiled Allison.

“He had this real sense of peace and grace and maturity I have never seen in anyone.

“He was just a 15-year-old boy and to have accepted this was going to happen and got on with a smile on his face, was incredible.”

Find out more by visiting www.teamjak.co.uk