Three children are reunited with their mother decades after being abandoned

Three sibblings lived for decades without knowing of each other’s existence.

It was a normal Monday in January for Ian Rae until the phone rang. He probably expected a sales call. Instead, out of the blue, he was told there was the possibility he had a brother he’d never met.

By Friday, he had confirmation. And that night, he drove to Buckie from his home in Bristol to meet the brother he hadn’t known existed.

It was another piece in the family jigsaw Ian believes still may not be complete. Twenty years ago, Ian found his sister, Jean Robertson. Shortly after that, they found their mum, Jessie Renwick Rae.

Now, Ian, Jessie and newly-found brother William Renwick Rae are left wondering if there are any more brothers and sisters they don’t know about.

Ian, Jean and William were each abandoned by their mother and spent childhoods far apart. Jean went through the agony of being told that she’d been left at Waverley Station by her mum, who’d then taken a train to London. She heard this when she was just five.

Years passed and all began to search, wondering if there was “someone” out there who was part of them, a family they’d never known. But it’s taken several long decades for them to finally find each other.

Their tale involves searching, frustration and giving up. Of searching again. They even got some help along the way from the Prime Minister of the time, John Major.

The story begins 72 years ago when William was born. One of his earliest memories is of being taken to Dunoon when he was about four and put on the Ferry to Gourock, where he went into a Barnado’s home. From there he was fostered and ended up living in Buckie until he was 16.

While William was in care, his mum had another child Ian. But when he was less than six months old, he too was put into a Barnado’s home in Edinburgh. Jessie visited to begin with and in due course, she became pregnant again, this time with Jean. Jean, too, ended up in a Barnado’s home.

As Ian, 68, now says, even though Jessie visited the home while pregnant and a baby of the same surname as him later ended up in Barnado’s care, no one in authority seemed to put two and two together and make sure the brothers and sister weren’t separated.

Nowadays, the authorities would try their best to keep children of the same family together. Back in the 1940s, it wasn’t given the same priority.

In fact, when Ian was just a toddler, he was sent 400 miles away, to an orphanage in Bristol. He has never found out why.

“I’ve no idea why they sent me there,” he says now. “I was sent to Muller orphanage in Bristol. It was crammed with kids, just waiting to be adopted and fostered.

“A social worker from the time has told me it was policy to stay in the country of your birth. But I ended up hundreds of miles away from my brother and sister.”

All three ended up being fostered.

“My foster parents, Edith and Gray Lawrence, were my mum and dad in all the ways that mattered,” Ian says. “But still I wanted to find out more about my background. You feel a huge chunk of you is missing when you grow up in care. You want to fill in the gaps.”

When Ian and Jean found each other, it was joyous and emotional. “It was so good to find each other, after so many years of wondering,” says Ian.

Jean laughs: “He’d told me he’d be wearing a leather jacket so were half the men who got off the bus that day! But I knew who Ian was from the grin on his face.”

Ian admits there have been complications along the way, starting with finding their mother.

“We just kept hitting a brick wall in our search for her, so in desperation my wife Christine wrote to the Prime Minister, John Major,” he says. “I don’t know what happened behind the scenes, but our mum then got called in to her doctor and told her son was looking for her me.

“To start with I was the golden boy. She even moved to Bristol from London. But she didn’t want anything to do with Jean,” Ian admits. “She would never give a reason. It put me in a terrible position, because as soon as we found her I wanted to ring Jean and tell her we had her. But she said if we involved Jean, she’d be gone, out of my life again.”

Jessie lived in Bristol for a few years, eventually agreeing to meet Jean.

“Jean and her husband were coming down to visit and I said to Jessie it was all going to be very awkward if we accidentally met up in Tesco or something!” Ian says. “So I told Jean we’d found her and they were reunited.”

Jean, 67, takes up the story and admits at first she wasn’t happy to hear that her mum had been found.

“I was angry,” she says. “If I’d found her, it would have been my decision whether to approach her or not. And when I heard she hadn’t wanted to see me, I thought stuff you! But then I agreed to meet her.”

Jean admits she was taken aback by her feelings when she met Jessie.

“I felt sorry for her. She was just an old woman. A difficult woman, she’d lived her whole life a lie. She was even a bigamist. But now? Just old.”

Jessie was a complex woman. From not wanting anything to do with Jean, she decided she wanted to move back to Scotland and ended up living just three doors away from Jean in Larbert. In her old age, Jessie was looked after by the daughter she’d abandoned.

“Well you wouldn’t see a dog on the street, would you?” Jean says. “But also, I thought if I looked after her she would give me answers. I wanted to ask her, why did you leave us?

“To abandon one child is hard enough to fathom. But three? I got bullied all through school. I used to tell myself if I’d had a big brother, I’d never have been bullied. Little did I know I had two.”

For Ian, Jessie’s move back to Scotland was hard. He only found out she was leaving from someone he ran into in the street.

“It was like being abandoned all over again,” he admits. “It was hard. She cut me out of her life again for a while and to this day I don’t know why.”

Ian and Jean both admit to feeling bewildered by Jessie’s answers to their questions. Both asked her if there were any other brothers or sisters and she always told them no.

“She should have told us,” Jean says. “We could have had another 20 years with William. But now we’re going to make up for lost time. I can’t wait for the three of us to get together.”

William, too, feels the pain of those 20 lost years. Jessie passed away in the ’90s, meaning William would never get to be reunited with her.

“When I found out about Ian and Jean, I was overjoyed,” he says. “But I’d like to have met Jessie, too. I’m sad they met her and I never did. But to find out I have a brother and sister at this age is amazing, it’s hard to take in.”

Ask all three why Jessie abandoned them and they struggle to answer.

“I was told that she had housemaid’s knee and couldn’t lift me,” Ian says. “Honestly? I probably shouldn’t say this but I think she was a good-time girl. She didn’t want the responsibility.”

Jean agrees and adds sadly: “All I know is that when I held my own kids when they were born, I just thought, how could anyone let someone like this go? How could they willingly walk away? She’s the one who missed out I have two fantastic kids and three grandchildren and they’re my life.”

Ian is equally defiant.

“I made a life for myself, despite everything,” he says. “I’m here, alive and kicking despite my past. I have three kids, I could never have abandoned them.”

Jean and William are meeting up this weekend for the first time. Ian recalls his and William’s first meeting.

“I don’t mind telling you I shed a tear,” he says.

Doubtless more tears will be shed when the three meet up together for the first time.

You can only be glad they’ve found each other, even though it’s taken decades.