Donald MacLeod: ScotRail is public transport’s equivalent of the Monster Raving Loony Party

ADAPTING to and accepting change is never easy, especially when you have reached an age, as I have, when you have lived longer than you probably have left.

Even worse, though, is when change is forced upon you whether you want it or not.

A recent change that continues to drive me loco has been our government’s utopian dream of a healthier Scotland and its forced march to make us all green and sickeningly healthy and fighting fit.

I know they are talking sense, I know I should take better care of my health, eat the proper food, exercise more, stop smoking and drink less. I know I should do a wee bit more to try to save the planet.

But in all honesty I can’t! Not when it’s forced. The wee rebel in me wants to tell them all to go and get stuffed!

Especially when you do try to change your unhealthy and polluting ways and are derailed at every turn.

I’ve got off my couch to stop being a slouch, got on my bike and went for a hike. I’ve even dropped the kebab in my fight against flab – but ditching the car to let the train take the strain has now sidelined any stupid notion that I could do my wee bit for the planet.

And who is to blame for that?

ScotRail.

What an embarrassing bunch this lot are – public transport’s equivalent of the Monster Raving Loony Party.

Going orange to become green when Dutch operator Abellio bought the franchise, we were promised new electric trains and rolling stock.

Now they are a £7 billion laughing stock!

In just over a year customer complaints have risen by 38%, one in 10 trains have run late and 450 have been cancelled.

Add to that signal failures at record levels and the electrification of Scotland’s busiest line from Glasgow to Edinburgh running seven months late and £32 million over budget.

It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just their money they were wasting. But it’s not, it’s also the taxpayers’.

And as for the electrification of the line, well the ScotRail Alliance – a formal alliance between Abellio ScotRail and Network Rail – is now having to redo it all as it put all the cables in at the wrong height.

You couldn’t make this sort of stuff up!

They are a total shambles. The Basil Fawlty of public transport and they have the cheek to put their fares up!

It’s no wonder more than 900,000 customers have tried to skip paying their fares.

The future isn’t orange, it’s red with rage – and their millions of passengers deserve better.

As I said, I tried ditching the car, walking and letting the train taking the strain, but on the three occasions I did I ended up having to get a taxi home because my train was cancelled at the last minute.

No more!

As a protest against all of this I’m now going to idle my car, overfill my bin, smoke in a public place, drink more booze, slurp litres of sugary drinks, eat loads of take-aways, drop tons of litter and buy a dog and not pick up its mess.

Of course, I won’t.

But I won’t take the train now, unless I absolutely have to.

It’s too painful an experience, too stressful – in fact, it’s healthier for me if I drive.