WHAT do we mean by “family life” in Britain today?
In many cases it’s no longer mum, dad and the kids living a few streets away from grandparents.
According to a report by Age UK last week one in three grandparents sees their grandchildren once a month or less.
It painted a bleak picture 32% of people over the age of 65 don’t have regular contact with their grown-up sons and daughters either.
It’s easy to jump to the conclusion that we’ve become a detached society, so caught up in our busy lives that we don’t have time for the wider family.
While that’s true in some cases, it’s also true that families have had to move where there is work or commute long distances, which means less time or opportunity for dropping in on the grandparents.
Working mums need their evenings for catching up on chores, checking homework, making sure there’s food for the packed lunches next day.
Time is the most precious commodity and it’s in short supply so it’s no surprise some grandparents do end up feeling a bit neglected.
But I think we need to understand that life for parents today is hugely pressurised.
Back when grandparents lived close by it was the most natural thing to go there after school and, if you were in luck, Granny had just made a pot of soup or baked scones.
Granny taught you how to knit or who mended holes in your gloves. Grandpa helped build “carties” and showed you how to grow tomatoes in a greenhouse.
When my children were small they loved to go to my mum’s house to play Snap before bedtime and have treats like a Lees snowball or ice cream when the van came round.
“Don’t be telling your mum,” she always said. But, of course, that made it more thrilling for the little ones.
Children can often talk to their grandparents in a way they can’t with their mum and dad. Maybe it’s because older people have more time to listen.
Today’s grandparents are fitter and more youthful than previous generations. Many are actively involved in helping their sons and daughters raise their children. The support they give to working parents is beyond price.
Very often it’s that quiet hour with a snack in the kitchen after school when children will talk about the little dramas of their day.
The links between the generations are worth nurturing because there’s so much to share.
But it means everyone involved being open to discussing how that time and contact can be managed.
There’s no excuse for grandparents taking the huff if they feel they’re not being visited enough and there’s no excuse for parents of young kids saying they’re “too busy”.
In an age of advanced technology you can email, Skype or go on Facebook to keep in touch.
If the Queen in her 80s can talk to her grandkids online, what’s stopping you?
Families are what we make them. Make yours happy by keeping in touch.
Enjoy the convenience of having The Sunday Post delivered as a digital ePaper straight to your smartphone, tablet or computer.
Subscribe for only £5.49 a month and enjoy all the benefits of the printed paper as a digital replica.
Subscribe