Cancer sufferer Lynda Bellingham is fighting in her own way

Actress Lynda Bellingham has made the toughest decision of her life.

She is terminally ill with cancer but plans to stop chemotherapy next month so she can spend one last Christmas with her family before she “lets the natural way do its thing”.

Her courage in speaking out last week prompted a warm response from hundreds of people, including actors she has worked with and fans who remember her as ‘the Oxo mum’ and as a presenter on Loose Women.

Lynda has bowel cancer and secondary tumours on her liver and lungs. She’s gone down the prescribed route of chemo and everything the medical profession can do to halt the spread of cancer. But now she has decided that enough is enough.

At 66 it cannot be easy to leave behind her husband Michael Pattemore, her family and friends. But Lynda has said: “Please understand I am in a good place.”

And no matter how much those who love her don’t want to lose her that choice is hers to make and they will honour it.

For years, cancer was the dark subject which no-one spoke about. It frightened people because it claimed so many lives. Then, with improvements in medical research, treatments were found which eased pain and alleviated symptoms.

A new openness meant people talked more freely about the disease. Celebrities like Jade Goody spoke out about their determination to “fight” cancer. But there are many ways to be brave. And sometimes letting go is one of them.

When quality of life has gone, when there is no hope of a cure and pain is robbing daily life of all its meaning and purpose perhaps there comes a time to let nature take its course. It is of course a very personal decision.

When others speak out about their way of coping with suffering, it helps those going through the same situation understand they are not alone and they’re not weak because they don’t want to ‘battle’ cancer any more.

There are many stages in the cancer journey. Despair and hope, moments of black humour, affection, tears, tenderness and irritation.

Watching someone you love suffer brings out the best and the worst in us. Anger that you can’t ‘fix’ the situation and make it better. Compassion as you watch the person you love in pain.

The best gift we can give anyone is to respect the choices they make about how they want to live out their life and if they decide it’s time to let it go to honour that decision with grace and gentleness.