Marriage worth more than a five-year plan

When you walk down the aisle, it is suppose to be a commitment for life.

I am sure no bride and groom kicks off their married life thinking it will all end in the divorce courts, but sadly that is what happens to almost one out of every three marriages in Scotland.

There are those who believe that divorce is just too easy these days and that couples should work harder to make the relationship work, and I am inclined to agree with them.

Obviously no one should stay in a violent or abusive marriage and remaining together “for the sake of the children” is never a good idea if you are miserable and unhappy to the core of your very soul.

Having said that, most couples go through rough patches and can decide to split up in the heat of the moment after a particularly blistering row. Once lawyers are involved and the whole process is underway it can be tough to take a step back and decide to try again.

This week, one solution to the soaring divorce rate was put forward which would mean a change in the law to bring in a sort of five-year marriage contract where you vow to stay together, not for life, but for the duration of this fixed-term arrangement.

Bosses of an online dating agency have suggested the idea that couples sign up for five years and after that can choose to go their separate ways.

I’m not convinced about this at all. Surely it’s better to simply live together rather than go through all the expense and hoopla of a big wedding, only to split up five years down the line, but perhaps this is the real crux of the matter.

Far too many couples concentrate all their energy into the actual wedding day instead of sitting down and talking through their plans, hope and dreams for the rest of their lives.

Some don’t even discuss whether or not they want to have kids, instead they are fixated on wedding flowers, cars and favours.

It’s completely crazy.

This proposed five-year plan is also very unfair on any children that might come along. They could end up regarding relationships in the same way as a fast food meal or an upgrade on their mobile phone.

I know that it’s tougher than ever to make a marriage work, but if you genuinely love each other then it is worth sticking together and trying to get through the bad times as well as enjoying the good ones.

It’s also worth bearing in mind that that the the Soviet Union’s despot Stalin had a five-year plan and we all know how that worked out.