Sports broadcaster Alison Walker reveals moving story of her parents' dementia

FOR the past month, Olive and Sandy Walker have been walking around like newlyweds.

Holding hands constantly, deeply in love and just content to be in each other’s company.

But they’re not a young couple sadly they both have dementia.

For the past 14 months they have been forced to live apart due to Sandy’s worsening condition.

But now the couple, who have been married for more than 50 years, have been reunited in a care home.

They are the parents of former BBC Scotland sports reporter Alison Walker, who has decided to share her family’s tragic story with The Sunday Post to shine a spotlight on dementia.

While the last few years have been great for Alison in a professional capacity as she worked on huge sporting events like the Commonwealth Games and Ryder Cup, personally she has been in turmoil as she watched her mum and dad deteriorate at the hands of the cruel condition.

“It’s been a tortuous journey and it’s not over,” said Alison, who’s reported on four Olympic Games.

“I don’t know anyone who has two parents with dementia and it really hit me and my three brothers for six.

“They were both bright people and there was no sign that this could be on the cards.

“When we got them into the same care home last month, it was as if they hadn’t seen each other in years and they were so happy.”

Sandy, 84, had been a GP and Olive, 82, was a midwife, and they always ensured the family was very sporty and active.

Alison noticed a change first in her dad, but it took a couple of years for his condition to be officially diagnosed.

She said: “He worked until his early 70s and was very energetic, playing golf until his late 70s and he and my mum would walk for miles across the Pentland Hills every day.

“But we started to notice things he’s a big Hamilton Accies fan and he would forget what the score was while we were at the games.

“Then he went through an aggressive, frustrated phase. It was very uncharacteristic of him.

“At first we thought he was just becoming a grumpy old man, but it got to the point that no one wanted to be around him.

“It took two years to have him assessed. That was through a combination of him believing he could sort himself, my mum saying there was nothing wrong with him and the GPs not being very helpful.

“We were told he had mixed dementia, which can be brought on by a number of factors and it’s also quite aggressive.”

Sandy was stabilised with medication but life didn’t improve much in the family home.

“It was them against the world as far as my mum was concerned and she found it very difficult to accept help,” Alison continued.

“He wasn’t getting out of bed and she was struggling to wash him or get him to wash.

“She just wanted to make him happy and look after him but we noticed she was also deteriorating.

“My brothers and I thought it was from trying to look after him, so we thought if we got Dad out of the house and into a care home it would help her to recover.

“We had to lie to her and say he was going in for tests, which was really dreadful.

“She did improve a little, but it became like a bereavement for her we’d removed her husband of 52 years from home.

“The GP said we had to give her time and space but after a year she wasn’t getting any enjoyment from life.

“She was becoming confused and would call the police in the morning when she woke up and realised Dad wasn’t there, telling them he’d gone missing.

“She wouldn’t let the Tesco delivery man in or any friends or carers.

“Mum declined so much.

“I would call her to say I was driving over to see her, but by the time I got from Glasgow to Edinburgh it was a big surprise when I arrived at the door.

“I think it all came from missing my dad, it was just too much for her.”

Alison will take part in a Memory Walk in aid of Alzheimer Scotland (Chris Austin / DC Thomson)

Olive was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a year ago.

“We knew it was coming.

“My brother and I were talking and he asked why they’d both got it was it something they did or their diet.

“I was concerned we had triggered something lying subconsciously that all came flooding out when we took my dad away. But no one knows.

“It does seem very unfair. I wake up in the night and think ‘why us?’.”

Alison has vowed to use her profile to do all she can to raise awareness of dementia.

That’s why she’s taking part in the final Memory Walk event of the year at Kelvingrove Park in Glasgow on October 4.

Memory Walks is an initiative from Alzheimer Scotland to raise money and awareness of dementia, with more than 90,000 people in the country currently living with dementia.

“Dementia is a ticking timebomb and it’s round the corner for a lot of people,” continued Alison. “So if I can get people better prepared, well at least that’s something.”

In the meantime, she is getting used to the new normal when it comes to her parents. “Dad still recognises us but I know the day is maybe not long away when he won’t. That’s going to be a sore one.

“He can’t remember the names of my two sons or his other five grandchildren, but Mum can.

“Every now and then there’s a flicker of normality, but those moments are becoming fewer.

“It’s not my dad, not that old Dad I knew, but it’s amazing what becomes normal again. What I regarded as normal for my dad has changed.

“As long as he is cheery and not upset, there’s still a quality of life there.

“My mum is a bit behind him but her short-term memory is the big issue.

“When we have a conversation she’s still on the ball.

“Her condition is a lot more gradual. We still have a large part of her but we know the end result will be the same.

“My mum was the person who pushed me to where I am in my career and made me believe I could do anything.

“Now she’s a shadow of herself, although there is still a spark there.”

Alison insists there are still lighter moments and it’s those she clings to.

“When the Accies were going through a bad spell I asked my dad if he knew who the manager was and he said he couldn’t remember but he should be sacked!

“I was filling in a form for him recently and I asked if he had any other medical conditions. He replied there was something wrong with his trousers, which even my mum laughed at.

“And now when I forget why I’ve gone into a room at home, my sons call it a dementia moment, but I just tell them it skips a generation.”

With Alison scheduled to be in Brazil for two months next year to cover the Rio Olympics, she’s glad her parents are happy again and being cared for by empathetic staff.

“The home they’re in is in Glasgow, which is much handier for me,” she added.

“Mum had visited Dad every day that he was in the other care home.

“They were just so desperate to be together again, so it’s been lovely seeing them walking around holding hands and looking happy.”

For more information on Memory Walks and to register, visit www.memorywalksscotland.org