Cosmetic surgery or age gracefully?
I prefer to think of it as ageing disgracefully. Read between my lines.
Who is the man who got away?
I was in a singing duo called The Salami Sisters and Spike Milligan took us under his wing. He was gorgeous, so I was in love with him. But he was principled – and nothing happened.
Have you been happy with the big screen adaptations of your books?
No. Most film producers couldn’t produce a urine sample. If they did, it would be toxic. Best thing is to sell the rights for lots of money and then not get it made.
As an Australian what did you make of Brits when you arrived?
When I started to get to know people I felt the English had a condescension gene. Maybe it was the circles I moved in. The secret to staying here is not to care.
Kylie or Danii Minogue?
Oh that’s impossible. Not fair. OK, if you insist, then I’ll go for Danii.
Who’s furthered the cause of women more? Germaine Greer or Dame Edna?
Ha ha. I’ll pick Dame Edna.
Should Australia cut ties with the UK?
Absolutely. The Royals are just people who’ve won life’s lottery so why do we bow and scrape?
Ever met them?
I presented prizes at a polo match and threatened William and Harry with kisses and tongue. William wasn’t keen but Harry was enthusiastic. They’re lovely people. But, really?
So you wouldn’t accept, say, an honorary Damehood?
Of course I would. Do you think I’m mad?
You have 24 hours left to live. How do you spend the time?
I’d eat Japanese fugu fish. It’s supposed to be heavenly but contains poison and kills a handful of people each year. It would be fun playing gourmet roulette. I’d have nothing to lose would I?
Kathy Lette’s new novel, Courting Trouble, is out now.
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