TONIGHT will see the 15th I’m A Celebrity champ crowned.
From Ant and Dec to Z-list stars, we’ve been through the entire alphabet of emotions for the past three weeks in the bitterest, most talked-about series for years…
Ant and Dec: Absolutely at the top of their game. Gleefully milking every last bit of celebrity angst and endlessly mickey-taking. Had you heard Tony Hadley did Celebrity MasterChef? Comedy royalty. Brian Friedman: Second to be booted out, the bitchy X Factor choreographer’s fanciest footwork was backing off in terror after Lady C laid into him. Chris Eubank: Both bizarrely quiet and just bizarre. High point was talking Kieron Dyer into staying with his “Will you take counsel? You’re a sportsman, that’s not what we do” speech. And his ability to walk backwards! Duncan Bannatyne: Never uttered his trademark “I’m out” but must have prayed Lady C would have. Their mutual loathing oozed from the screen. His black eye came from being dunked in the water for a trial, not an actual slug-fest. Early Departure: Spencer Matthews came late and left just as quickly. Made in Chelsea toff must have felt a dope after having to leave after just two days because of steroid use. Even Gemma Collins lasted longer!
Ferne McCann: This year’s screamer! The TOWIE star proved she could screech and cry with the very best but she was no quitter and showed amazing guts in the snake-filled Panic Pit trial. George Shelley: The boyband star was a mix of the invisible man and an excitable puppy. But Twitter trending showed producers know a strong fan base and he grew stronger the longer it went on. Hush: Cupping her hands over her face and whispering “I hate him” didn’t stop the cameras and mics picking up Jorgie Porter’s loathing of Chris Eubank. Ingenious: Whoever thought up this year’s trial names was a jungle genius. Scarier 51 (revamped as Scarier 52 after Lady C refused first time) and Saturday Fright at the Movies were just a couple. Jorgie Porter: The Hollyoaks star was appealing but she knew what she was doing or did she just happen to find a white swimsuit uncannily like Myleene Klass’s for her jungle shower?
Jorgie (ITV)
Kieron Dyer: The tough former footie star scored with viewers with his teary breakdown and near quitting. Won friends all round camp even Lady C and was one of the first to openly state he wanted to win. Lady C: Oh where to start! It’s been years since such full-on rants, vicious put-downs and relentless rows. Not sure if the tirades or her flirting with Ant and Dec were most disturbing but her “medical grounds” exit was still a shock. Monocle: Who’d have thought the one thing that was a must-have in the jungle was some bizarre-looking eyewear? Chris Eubank of course. Nastiness: We’ve some mini-spats recently like Jimmy Bullard’s “banter” and Kendra Wilkinson screaming at Edwina Currie but this year’s series was happily totally off the scale. Oik: If the word’s now back in common usage it’s down to the aristocrat who reckoned she was “sport for the oiks” and labelled Hadley as a “chippy oik” (and a bully, liar and creep of course)
Lady C (ITV) Phone box: You’d think with the multi-million pound budget the show could get a phone that worked. A call to the red box to give stars instructions left Ant and Dec sweating when it cut off. More credit on the phone card next time? Quest: For the title King or Queen of the Jungle will go right to the wire tonight. Rain: The storm that nearly flooded the camp and the lighting that knocked out power and cameras was a belter. Mini-evacuation did at least dampen down the aggro for a bit. Susannah Constantine: The first the public tired of and the What Not To Wear star should surely have known that unwashed BIG pants weren’t this year’s most on-trend fashion item. Tony Hadley: To cut a long story short, the Spandau Ballet singer’s facial expression was pure gold when he realised it was true that he couldn’t escape his aristo nemesis.
Vicky Pattison: The Geordie shore surprised many with her witty banter, kind nature and smart thinking. Might have been playing a game to shrug off her reality raunch but she played it shrewdly.
Vicky and George (REX Shutterstock / ITV) Weeping: Bucketloads as always. From Kieron to Jorgie, George to Ferne, they all tried to ensure the rainforest was adequately watered. X-rated language: Lady C knew plenty of swear words to fire at her campmates and Duncan had the bleep machine red hot when he blasted Kieron for keeping her going. Yvette Fielding: The former Blue Peter presenter screaming at Lady C certainly wasn’t kids’ stuff. Picture of misery when she didn’t get the earliest exit she wanted. Sheer joy when she was voted out next day. Z-listers: Plenty among the class of 2015 (but with a £175-million fortune and a girlfriend 31 years younger, we still can’t figure out what on earth Dragon Bannatyne was doing there).
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