Fly me to the baby moon!
My pregnant wife claims I gave up treating her like a princess the day we got married.
So when I read about the gallant Prince William whisking Kate off to Balmoral for a “babymoon” I thought what better chance to prove her wrong.
For the uninitiated, babymoons are when expectant couples take one final break before their new arrival plunges their lives into chaos. Pampering before the Pampers, if you like.
Needless to say, the concept started in America and spread like wildfire.
It was hijacked by the travel industry and there are now lots of tailored babymoon packages to luxury destinations across the world. One even offers something called “womb service”.
Apparently, it includes a parental massage designed for hormonal expectant mums.
Our long weekend trip, thankfully, was a simpler affair, and on a budget. It involved dropping off our three-year-old son at his grandma’s, flying to London, and, in essence, spending time doing things we enjoy.
Preparing for this trip we looked at all the different options to get south and there are plenty.
We opted to fly from Edinburgh to London City. At £100 return it was considerably cheaper than the train and probably twice as quick, door-to-door.
It was also massively convenient. The airport is slap-bang in the middle of the East End so there are no 50-mile journeys to endure to get to the city centre and it’s on the Transport for London network.
That means you can buy a travel pass, take the 20-minute train to town, and use the ticket to hop on and off the Tube or bus for the remainder of your trip.
Hotels aren’t in short supply in London there are more than 100,000 rooms to choose from. We opted for the Premier Inn near the Tower of London.
OK, it didn’t offer womb service, but it was cheap, clean and the perfect base to explore the city and get to and from the airport.
After dropping off our bags mid-morning we hopped across London Bridge to bustling Borough Market where we enjoyed an al fresco lunch.
It sits on the banks of the Thames and is a haven for foodies, with its abundance of quirky stalls, restaurants and gastro pubs.
In the afternoon, we took the Tube to the Millennium Dome in Greenwich, which now includes the O2 Arena.
The purpose was to watch indie legend Morrissey in concert but we quickly discovered there’s more to this part of London than meets the eye.
The highlight was a jaunt on the Emirates cable car, which links the Greenwich Peninsula with the newly regenerated Royal Docks.
The cable car was opened in a blaze of publicity two years ago. At the time mayor Boris Johnson promised it would provide a creative solution to the area’s traffic problems.
In reality, very few locals use it but it’s a great way for tourists to get a bird’s eye view of the East End and it’s reasonably cheap at £4.40 per person.
Our second morning saw us get up early and go west. To be honest, I was dreading this day coming because I knew what lay in store shopping, and lots of it.
Our first stop was trendy Portobello Market, near Notting Hill.
I think this was a deliberate ploy from the trouble and strife (as they say in these parts) to stop me from moaning, because it was full of cool shops with retro blokey stuff, like old records and football memorabilia.
The fun didn’t last long though and before I knew it we were in the hell on earth that is Oxford Street. Inexplicably, the Mrs appeared to be in her element elbowing into people in Selfridges and Liberty’s.
I was mightily relieved when she announced she’d had enough and it was time for the highlight of our weekend away a trip to the five-star Landmark Hotel on Marylebone Road for some rest, relaxation and a bite to eat.
She wasted no time getting to the spa for her pre-booked “organic foot retreat ritual”.
There was a special men’s facial available, but I was too tight and too set in my ways to part with the £90 they wanted. So, with heavy heart, I trudged to a nearby pub and forced myself to drink a couple of pints.
We met up again an hour or so later to indulge in the Landmark’s award-winning afternoon tea. Now this was more like it. A soaring glass-roofed atrium with huge palm trees and rattan-style furniture provided the backdrop.
But it was the lavish selection of sandwiches, rolls, breads, pastries, muffins and miniature gateaux that really took our breath away. At £40 each it wasn’t cheap but, as an experience, it was worth it.
The rest of the day was spent wandering around Mayfair, Covent Garden and Soho before one last food and drink stop before getting our heads down for the night and flying home the following morning.
This time we chanced upon a fantastic place, full of atmosphere, called Bill’s Restaurant in Brewer Street.
It provided the perfect finale to our last big hurrah before baby number two makes its entrance and throws our lives back into tumult again.
Rooms in the London Bank (Tower) Premier Inn start at £59. Fly to London City from Edinburgh with FlyBe from £80 return.
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