Dragons exist in a den of tranquillity.
Pop along to your local cinema this week and, among the many films you’ll find that are aimed at children for the school holidays, is the animated sequel to How to Train Your Dragon.
It’s the story of a Viking boy living in the Scottish Isles who has managed to pacify a fire-breathing Night Fury to keep as his pet. But if you want to see the spectacle of five once fearsome dragons being tamed, you needn’t leave the house.
Maybe 12 series of the same format would draw the fervour out of even the most ferocious of beasts, but the Dragons of the Den Deborah Meaden, Peter Jones, Kelly Hoppen, Piers Linney and Duncan Bannatyne were unusually becalmed as the new series got underway last Sunday.
In particular, telecoms tycoon Jones seemed intent on ringing in a new way of doing things as he came over all Apprentice-like and told two of the contestants “You’re hired,” (job offers they both subsequently turned down). And Duncan admitted he’d let his “heart rule his head” with one offer he made to a couple whose vegetable crisps idea had landed them in the deep fat fryer financially. This must have come as a surprise to all those who’ve been on the end of one of Bannatyne’s black looks as he’s never revealed the existence of such an organ in any of the previous 11 series.
Meanwhile, the pitches that were taken up a £65,000 investment to convert a warehouse into a venue for people who like to swing (we’re talking dancing) and a £60,000 injection into a children’s shoe manufacturer were only offering a 10% stake in their business, well down on previous series when a Dragon wouldn’t come out of their cave for anything less than 30%.
It took a couple plying tacky-looking radiator covers for the Dragons to really heat up. They valued their business at £ million but had sold three units in their first year and had taken orders for 17 in 2013.
“I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but that is hideous,” said designer Kelly Hoppen, pointing at something that looked like the back end of a Dalek.
Unless the Dragons rediscover some of their old fire it may be them who face extermination.
BBC2 Sunday
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