HERE are real transcripts provided by BT operators of exchanges showing the humorous side of unnecessary 999 calls.
Adviser: “Do you need fire, police or ambulance?”
Caller: “I’m sorry to call 999 but I was looking for 101 but I don’t know the number.”
Adviser: “Do you need fire, police or ambulance?”
Young caller: “Mountain Rescue please.”
Adviser: “Where are you?”
Young caller: “I’m on the top bunk and I can’t get down.”
Adviser: “Do you need fire, police or ambulance?”
Caller: “I need the police please it is my daughter’s wedding day and her dress doesn’t fit anymore. I need the police to come and help me get her in it.”
Adviser: “Do you need fire, police or ambulance?”
Caller: “I need the police, I ordered a takeaway that cost me £30 and they took it to number six, when I live at number seven.”
Adviser: “Do you need fire, police or ambulance?”
Caller: “My laptop password won’t work, I need you to reset it for me.”
Adviser: “That’s not something we can help with.”
Caller: “Can you call my service provider and get them to ring me back?”
Adviser: “Do you need fire, police or ambulance?”
Caller: “I need an ambulance, my husband has lost his pyjamas and he cannot breathe without them.”
Adviser: “Do you need fire, police or ambulance?”
Caller: “Well it’s quite urgent my rabbit has escaped, I need help.”
Adviser: “Do you need fire, police or ambulance?”
Caller: “Can I get the Police, someone has stolen my snowman from my garden, can you come quickly?”
Adviser: “Do you need fire, police or ambulance?”
Caller: “I need to cancel my hairdressers’ appointment, it’s an emergency and I can’t get through to the salon.”
Adviser: “Do you need fire, police or ambulance?”
Caller: “There’s a seagull with a broken arm.”
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