A man’s a man for a’... splat! Gulls foul famous Burns statue

Dundee has one of the world’s most famous statues of Robert Burns.

But as millions gather to remember our national Bard this weekend, the Dundee Burns Club has been forced to use an image of a statue which sits in Christchurch, New Zealand, rather than the city’s own iconic monument to inform members of forthcoming festivities.

The reason? Gull guano.

The Burns monument which sits in Dundee’s Albert Square, one of only four statues in the world of the Bard by revered Scottish sculptor Sir John Steell, is a favoured resting spot of local gulls, which have left the statue’s head spattered in white excrement.

Dundee City councillor Jimmy Black, who is also president of Dundee Burns Club, said: “It is rather ‘gulling’ that we have had to use an image of the Christchurch statue instead of our own city’s.

“The Christchurch statue, which is a copy of our Dundee monument, is more pristine and that is why the club decided to use its image on our most recent programme.

“I did make some inquiries to find out how much it would cost to clean up the statue, but was advised it could be five figures. Given the financial constraints facing all local authorities, the situation we face is rather difficult. We can’t just put up a stepladder and get someone to have a go at cleaning Robbie’s head with a scrubbing brush. Renovating statues is a specialist job, requiring expertise and care or even more damage could be caused.”

Dundee’s statue

The statue was erected to honour the September 1787 visit Burns made to Dundee, his only known journey to the city he described as a “low-lying but pleasant town”.

Burns travelled the east coast, visiting his father’s family roots in Montrose and the Mearns, during a tour of the Highlands. And his legacy has long been celebrated in Dundee. The Dundee Burns Club is the 14th oldest in the world.

It was the ordinary working people of the city who raised the money to pay Sir John Steell for the bronze monument, which sits upon a grand plinth of Peterhead granite.

In October 1880, there were unprecedented scenes when up to 100,000 people took to the streets of Dundee for the unveiling of the statue, 84 years after the Bard’s death.

The sculptor was inspired by the opening verse of Burns’ poem To Mary In Heaven.

Burns is depicted looking skywards, deep in thought of his lost love Highland Mary, Mary Campbell.

Dundee University Scottish history professor Christopher Whatley has said Burns captured the imagination of the Victorian public at a time when the “working man had very little say over society”.

Black said: “It was, and still is, a hugely important and greatly appreciated monument.

“Unfortunately, the seagulls greatly appreciate the monument in their own way, using is as an ideal lookout for passing pedestrians carrying a sandwich or tasty bite.

“I’d like to think Robert Burns would be quite understanding over our predicament.

“There’s a verse in John Anderson My Jo where Burns refers to Anderson’s hair becoming white like “the snow”.

“I guess the ‘frosty pow’ our statue is wearing thanks to the seagulls would make the Bard smile with some irony.”

Burns expert Rab Wilson said: “He never took himself too seriously when he was alive, so I think he would smile that the seagulls have ensured his statue has a ‘frosty pow’.”

Chairman of the council’s infrastructure committee Steven Rome said: “We really do appreciate how well loved this monument is and of course we want to do all we can to preserve it for the future. We do hope we can find a way to come back to this.”

Dundee City Council said: “The removal of guano from sculptures requires to be undertaken by specialist conservation experts. There is currently no available budget in the council to support this specialist cleaning work.”

Rabbie’s lament fir his Dundee Statue

by Rab Wilson

Wae’s me ma bonny bust bi Steell,

Wi seagull crap’s nou hauf concealed,

Ye douce Dundonians kythe some zeal;

Wi Vim or Flash!

Ma handsome pow maun be revealed –

‘Mon, gie’s a waash!

Vile craws an doo’s hou daur they sully,

The Bardie’s face, ah’ll draw a gullie,

Tae chase the vermin, willy-nilly,

An see thaim aff…

Fat Boab, Wee Eck, an e’en Oor Wullie,

Ye’se neednae lauch!!

An dinnae threip ye’ve nae bawbees,

Ya tuim-pouched miser SNP’s

Fir Camper Vans ye’d LSD…

Eh! Pete an Nic…?

Trade said van in then ye maun gie…

Rab’s face a dicht…!

Plankt oan ma plinth at Courier Place,

Wi ne’er a clout tae waash ma face,

C’mon Dundee, a damnt disgrace,

That’s whit ah’m sayin…

Tourists glare, sayin ‘Some showcase!?’

Whit are ye’se daein…!?

Sae please Dundee, the Bard’s imploring,

Fir Kim & Aggie gang exploring,

Marigold gloves ye shuid be scoring,

Let’s mend his shrine,

And brithers, sisters aa get tore in…

Tae gar Rab shine…!