Health: Asperger’s doesn’t embarrass me... I think of it as my superpower

For some, running is a hobby. For Mandy Williams, it’s a way of life. It’s been a decade since she took up the sport and she now runs every day, and up to 70 miles a week.

From marathons and ultras to road running and canicross runs with her dog up the mountains, Mandy has done it all.

“I love running,” she said. “It brings such a feeling of calm for me. I tune into the rhythm and then I’m in the zone. I can run for miles and not remember it at all once I’m finished.”

The 45-year-old first took up the sport as a means of getting into shape. “I was unfit and had a really bad diet and needed to get myself into gear,” she explained. “I soon caught the bug. And it turned out to be a huge stress relief for me too.”

Mandy, from Stirling, has suffered from stress and anxiety since her childhood. “I was always a little bit ‘different’,” she said. “I was exceptionally clever at school and bullied as a result.

“It wasn’t the best social time for me, but I didn’t know why. In the ’80s it wasn’t really accepted to be a bit different.”

As the years moved on, Mandy struggled with social situations, found herself being rigorous with routine and did everything to excess.

Mandy said: “All my life, I have taken things to the extreme. I do everything until I’m totally maxed out. Once I get my teeth into something, I don’t stop.

“Like when I was at uni I did a parachute jump – and it led me to learn how to fly aeroplanes! Now, I do it with running. I constantly have a lot of energy and it’s not going away anytime soon. Usually I run between 60 and 70 miles a week – and that’s only because I need to limit it because I could do myself an injury at my age if I don’t.”

For Mandy, it’s a means of coping with feelings of anxiousness, something she has had to manage all her life.

“One way I cope is by having a routine – I have my breakfast at the same time every day, run at the same time every day, the same route and distance, have dinner at the same time…

“If I don’t stick to my strict routine, I get anxious. And it manifests itself in my mood. I can get depressed or nervous.

“And I hate being in groups. I would rather visit the dentist.

“I can only run on my own or with my dog Max. The thing with animals is they don’t judge. They don’t care that I need to run in silence, that I need to do the same route every time. They just understand.

“My partner Robert is an elite runner, but I can’t even run with him. And if I’m doing a marathon, I am ill in the car on the way there and have to warm up in a bush away from the crowds. But once I am on the start line and start running, I’m in my own little world.”

Mandy, mum to Mikey, 18 and Kim, 16, added: “Of course, after having children I wanted to be the best mum I could possibly be, but it was hard. I still remember taking the kids to parties when they were younger and excusing myself. I didn’t stay to socialise with the other mums. I couldn’t. I think they thought I was rude but it was something I couldn’t do. I would sit in the car and cry my heart out. It was hard.”

After decades of feeling the odd one out, Mandy was relieved at the beginning of lockdown to be given an explanation when she was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome.

The developmental disorder is a form of autism and generally involves difficulty with social interaction, and a desire for rigidity and repetition.

“It took six months to get a diagnosis, and when I found out, I burst into tears. It was such a relief as there have been points where I questioned whether I was insane.

“I feel like I can breathe again – and just be myself now. I was always talking about myself like an alien. I never understood why other people didn’t want to run 40 miles a week.

“But what I’ve finally realised is that I was trying to fit into mainstream, but actually mainstream should have been trying to fit with me.

“My brain is just wired a little differently.”

Mandy, who works in a running shop, something only possible because it is a combination of something she is passionate about and a learned behaviour, added: “Because of Covid we haven’t really looked at treatments but I guess in a way I have been working out ways to help myself all my life.

“I meditate every day, I eat extremely healthily, I don’t drink.

“And I know I am prone to being excessive, so I try to manage and control things. I can be brutally honest sometimes so I try to manage that and not say too much!”

After diagnosis, Mandy decided to share the news on her Instagram account, Power of Paws Scotland.

“I guess I just want to help other people and to realise this is a condition and they shouldn’t be embarrassed about it,” she said.

“Running is my meditation, but I hope other people living with Asperger’s can find a passion to channel their energy into.

“I think of my differences as a superpower now. I know it’s not me, it’s a condition.

“And the more people talk about it, the better.”

For some people running is a hobby. For Mandy Williams, it’s a way of life.

It’s been a decade since she took up the sport and now runs every day and up to 70 miles a week.

From marathons and ultras to road running and canicross runs with her dog up the mountains, Mandy has done it all.

“I love running,” she said. “It brings such a feeling of calm for me. I tune into the rhythm and then I’m in the zone.

“I can run for miles and not remember it at all once I’m finished.”

Mandy, 45, took up the sport as a means of getting into shape.

“I was unfit and had a really bad diet and needed to get myself into gear,” she explained.

“But it turned out to be a huge stress relief for me too.

“At first, I didn’t enjoy it at all but then I caught the bug!”

Mandy, from Stirling, has suffered from stress and anxiety since her childhood.

“I was always a little bit ‘different’,” she said. “I was exceptionally clever at school and bullied as a result.

“It wasn’t the best social time for me, but I didn’t know why.

“I just wasn’t very ‘mainstream’ and in the ‘80s it wasn’t really accepted to be a bit different.”

As the years moved on, Mandy found it difficult to ‘fit in’.

She struggled with social situations, found herself being rigorous with routine and did everything to excess.

Mandy said: “All my life, I have taken things to the extreme, to the next level. I do everything until I’m totally maxed out. Once I get my teeth into something, I don’t stop.

“Like when I was at uni I did a parachute jump – and it led me to learn how to fly aeroplanes!

“And I take photos as a hobby – but have gone so far with it I was shortlisted for amateur photographer of the year for my wildlife images.

“Now, I do it with running. I constantly have a lot of energy and it’s not going away anytime soon.

“Usually I run between 60 and 70 miles a week – and that’s only because I need to limit it because I could do myself an injury at my age if I don’t.”

For Mandy, it’s a means of coping with feelings of anxiousness, something she has had to manage all her life.

“One of the ways I cope with it is by having a routine – and I have to have one. I need to have my breakfast at the same time every day, run at the same time every day, the same route and distance, have dinner at the same time…

“If I don’t stick to my strict routine, I get anxious. And it manifests itself in my mood. I can get depressed or anxious or nervous.

“And I hate being in groups. I would rather visit the dentist!

“I can only run on my own or with my dog Max. I used to run with his dad Merlin, but he passed away. The thing with animals is they don’t judge. They don’t care that I need to run in silence, that I need to do the same route every time. They just understand.

“My partner Robert is an elite runner, but I can’t even run with him.

“And if I’m doing a marathon, I am ill in the car on the way there and have to warm up in a bush away from the crowds. But once I am on the start line and start running, I’m in my own little world.”

Mandy, mum to Mikey, 18 and Time, 16, added: “Of course, after having children I wanted to be the best mum I could possibly be, but it was hard. I still remember taking the boys to kids parties when they were younger and excusing myself. I didn’t stay to socialise with the other mums. I couldn’t. I think they thought I was rude but it was something I couldn’t do. I would go back and sit in the car and cry my heart out. It was hard.”

After decades of feeling like the odd one out, Mandy was relieved at the beginning of lockdown to eventually be given an explanation when she was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome.

The developmental disorder is a form of autism and generally involves difficulty with social interaction, and a desire for rigidity and repetition.

“It took six months to get a diagnosis, and when I found out, I burst into tears. It was such a relief because there have been points where I questioned whether I was insane.

“I feel like I can breathe again – and just be myself now.

“I was always talking about myself like an alien. I never understood why other people didn’t want to run 40 miles a week or read about quantum physics.

“But what I’ve finally realised is I was trying to fit into mainstream, but actually mainstream should have been trying to fit with me.