HOLBY CITY star Bob Barrett had to face his fears for a special episode of the BBC medical drama screening this week.
It sees Bob’s character, Dr Sacha Levy, on the roof of the hospital, threatening to take his own life as his battle with depression reaches crisis point.
But, as he’s terrified of heights, Bob says filming meant battling his demons.
“We were up there for two days and I have vertigo,” Bob told iN10.
“In my case, when I look down I have this urge to fall off. But Sacha is out on this ledge and I felt it was important that it is clearly seen to be me.
“We had a great stunt guy to advise me and I had a harness – but when I first climbed out, it was every bit as terrifying as I expected it to be.
“Once I was out there for a bit I was OK as I was looking out on to the horizon.
“Then I made the mistake of looking down and my head just went completely.
“I started swaying and the guy just grabbed me.”
The programme worked closely with charity Mind on the episode which turns the focus firmly on to male mental health.
A devastating surgical outcome for a favourite patient pushes Sacha to the brink and a series of flashbacks are used to reflect on the tough year that has helped build to this point.
There have been episodes in the past that have highlighted Sacha’s fragile mental health, but this is on a completely different scale.
And while Bob had looked into the subject before, he immersed himself in it much more deeply this time.
“I read up about it a lot but I also know people who have had depression and I spoke to them,” said Bob, who two has two daughters, Eleanor, 20, and Francesca, 17, with actress wife Rebecca Charles.
“I think they spoke to me in more detail because they knew me.
“Talking to people was the definitely the most important thing.
“I know people who have actually attempted suicide, which is what this episode is about, and the worse it is, the more they have tried to hide it.”
While male mental health is very much a hidden issue, Bob says that is especially a concern in the medical profession.
Doctors are, day and daily, the ones that the public turn to for help. But who do they turn to – and can they admit it in the first place?
“Mental illness and depression is very much a thing that’s hard for doctors, particularly surgeons.
“With them, a millimetre either way when they are operating is critical. They can’t allow for the thought of failure.
“Self-doubt is something they are terrified of. People in the medical profession find ways of keeping it under wraps.”
While looking into the situation in general and thinking of how to portray what his character was going through, Bob admits he took it on board in a very personal level, too.
“It has made me think about it much more,” said Bob, more of a theatre name and a regular at the Lyceum in Edinburgh before joining the long-running medical drama nine years ago.
“I’ve had moments before in my life where I’ve been down.
“On the whole, I’m not, and when they’ve happened they’ve usually been grief-based.
“Something’s happened and I’ve been grieving and I’ve gone to a darker place and then come out of it.
“But it’s a terrifying thing and we live in a country where there’s a certain amount of stiff upper lip.
“Particularly among men, there is a culture of not talking about it. Hopefully, that will change.
“The most important thing for me about this episode is that it shines a light on mental illness.
“Holby has a big, loyal audience and I’d like to hope it will help change perceptions a bit.
“Even if there are just a few people watching who have depression and might be encouraged to do something about it, then that would be great.
“I’m really pleased that Holby is doing something as different as this episode.”
Holby City, BBC1 Scotland, Tue, 10.45pm (8pm rest of UK)
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