Last weekend, a friend – whose nose has a bluish hue in all weathers – bet on Alfredo Morelos to score a Celtic Park hat-trick at odds of 80/1.
Well, if you are going to be a Bluenose . . .
Sports wagers are not for the risk-averse, and when the investment tanked, she didn’t see red the way the Rangers striker did on picking up his second yellow.
The Bearette reasoned: “Ach, he was always going to get a hat-trick or be sent off. Great result, though.”
As much as the summing up makes the derby sound more like a pre-scripted movie than a football match, it is backed up by the stats.
And not just the one pointing out it was Light Blues’ first victory in the east end of Glasgow since 2010.
In the last 18 months, the Colombian has scored a highly-impressive 59 goals.
However, over the same period he has also been sent off seven times.
While it is true one was later rescinded, it is equally worth pointing out the latest two – in the space of as many weeks – undermine a recent improvement in his discipline.
The reds tally will be of more concern to Rangers manager Steven Gerrard than the striker’s zero in the column for goals scored against Celtic.
Why? Because the high volume of chances that came his way in the two derbies suggest that if he can produce just one clinical finish, Morelos will be off and running against the Hoops.
But there are consequences to the dismissals, both in the short and long term.
The first is easier to quantify.
Morelos’ latest red means he will be banned for the home game against St Mirren on January 22, and also miss the trip to Tynecastle to face Hearts four days later.
Thanks to the bookings carried over from last season’s Scottish Cup campaign, he is also set to be banned for the tie against Stranraer at Ibrox on January 17.
It is both possible and plausible Rangers will win all three matches without their talisman.
Think back to the way they blitzed Hibs at Easter Road in December when he was missing, banned.
At the same time, Gerrard knows this tightest of title races could easily be decided by tiny margins.
Whatever happens, it seems fair to assume the manager, with the ink still drying on his own new five-year deal, will look to rebuild in the summer.
Selling Morelos then would be an obvious way to raise cash to bring in the type of players he would love to buy.
Yet as long as discipline remains an issue, the type of £40-million bid speculated on by chairman Dave King won’t happen.
At that elevated level, buyers simply move on to another goalscoring striker – one who doesn’t keep getting himself sent off, and add fuel to the flames with throat-cutting gestures
Publicly, Gerrard has spoken of having “no complaints” with Morelos, but admitted he will have to “reset” him on discipline following his “minor misbehaviour”.
It is a fair bet – unlike the Morelos hat-trick at Celtic Park long shot – that there will be times when privately Gerrard must feel like pulling his hair out.
While Rangers fans can laugh off the pantomime-villain aspect of the striker’s character, and the media can relish it for the theatre it provides, having to manage around it must be an onerous task.
Enjoy the convenience of having The Sunday Post delivered as a digital ePaper straight to your smartphone, tablet or computer.
Subscribe for only £5.49 a month and enjoy all the benefits of the printed paper as a digital replica.
Subscribe