Demi Hannaway: Sisters blame themselves for staying silent

Demi Hannaway's sisters Ella, Caitlin and Sarah.

The Hannaways were a big, loving family so close that they did everything together.

At their centre was bubbly Demi, 23, a girl who had so much love and laughter inside her she believed she not only could fix the world of all its ills, but she could also change the violent man who lied his way into her heart.

Her sister Caitlin said: “Everyone adored Demi. She was the perfect big sister. Family meant everything to her. She was always singing and laughing. Nothing seemed to get her down – until she met Andrew Brown.

“Demi thought she could fix everything. She always saw the very best in people, always the first to rush forward and try to help others. Once she met Andrew Brown she changed. She seemed happy, but her smile was covering something dark in her life.”

Years of abuse

Caitlin, 25, Sarah, 17, and Ella, 13, were witness to years of abuse against their sister, inflicted behind closed doors by a violent coward and covered up by Demi, who did not want her mum Helen and dad John to worry.

The sisters only discovered they were each keeping the violence secret after Demi died.

Caitlin said: “Andrew Brown behaved like the perfect partner around mum and dad. He treated Demi like a princess in front of them. But once he was in his own home, the mask slipped revealing the monster hiding from us.”

Sarah said: “I might have been a little girl, but I knew enough to be terrified of what Brown really was.

“I was frozen to the spot when he suddenly flew into a rage in front of me one day, grabbing Demi by the neck and throwing her to the ground as he screamed abuse in her face.

“In that moment, I realised I was seeing the real Andy Brown, the man my sister loved so much she hid the truth from the people who loved her most of all.

“I wanted to tell my dad right away, but Demi was in hysterics, begging me not to.”

The sisters kept their promises to Demi, each drenched in guilt, believing their silence came at the price of their beloved sister’s life.

Sarah said: “Even at nine years old, I felt the danger Demi was in. I couldn’t understand why everyone else couldn’t see it too.

“Brown never dared let his mask slip in front of my father or mother. But I knew the truth.”

Sarah said Brown loved playing mind games.

She said: “Demi had spent the whole day cooking for him and was wearing new clothes to surprise him.

“Andy said she looked like a whore. He refused to eat the meal she’d cooked and demanded a food delivery.

“Demi broke her heart, but she had to pay for the food delivery, so she had to clean her face up before it arrived.”

On another occasion Sarah was horrified to see half a door torn away in Demi’s home.

Sarah said: “I blurted out: ‘What happened to the door?’, not realising Brown was behind my sister. He said: ‘I’ll f****** show you what happened!’ and he slammed Demi into the remaining bits of the door as hard as he could.

“The abuse continued in front of me for years. I struggled to understand how Brown could keep up the pretence in front of our parents.”

‘We were all broken’

When Demi died, Sarah said the sisters realised they each had a secret, and they needed to break their silence.

Sarah said: “The days after Demi died passed in a blur of grief. Demi had been such a force of life, our world seemed silent without her.

“I don’t know how we all managed to get through her funeral. We were all broken.

“Finally, after dad took us to the cemetery and, among all the flowers and tributes to Demi, he broke down at the graveside. It was clear we couldn’t continue holding all the pain inside us.

“I knew Ella had also seen things. I suspected Caitlin had too. The time for silence was over. We had to speak up.

“I still couldn’t face telling dad what I’d known and risk seeing the betrayal in his eyes, so I told mum.

“When mum heard everything, she made me promise not to blame myself.

“After mum told dad, he broke down. He held us tight and told us we shouldn’t ever blame ourselves.

“But it’s hard not to. I keep wishing I could have changed things. But there’s only one person to blame for what happened to my sister.”

Caitlin said: “My sister never stood a chance. Brown is a manipulative, cunning monster who carefully created a different persona in front of others.

“We mistakenly thought we were helping Demi by keeping her secret. All it did was allow Brown to continue abusing her.”

With just two years between them, Caitlin and Demi were inseparable growing up.

They both loved music and dancing, and shared everything, from favourite clothes and make-up to special secrets.

Caitlin said: “Demi was more like my best friend than my big sister.

“We shared everything, clothes, our dolls, our make-up. Best of all, we shared our secrets.

“Demi was obsessed with karaoke. She’d belt out songs and laugh at her dreams of becoming a singer.

“It was only when Demi met Brown that she changed and became more withdrawn.

“Suddenly, she wasn’t sharing secrets with me as she once did.

“I soon discovered why.”

‘I knew I’d seen the real Andrew Brown’

One day Demi asked Caitlin to wait in the car while she went up to her house to get something.

She said: “I happened to look out from the car and saw Brown had Demi pinned against the lounge window by her throat.

“I flew out of the car and into the house to find him screaming like a maniac and throwing Demi about. I instinctively flew at him, and he grabbed at me before running off.

“Demi begged me to say nothing. She insisted he was drunk, and it was a one-off.

“I didn’t believe her.

“I knew I’d seen the real Andrew Brown in those violent moments, and he was a monster.”

Caitlin covered up red marks Brown left around Demi’s throat, putting make-up on the scratches he’d left on her face.

She said: “Demi told dad she’d fallen off a trampoline.”

Caitlin said Brown kept her sister away from her family.

She said: “He’d make us feel uncomfortable. He was always angry and in a bad mood. It was part of his plan to keep us away from Demi so he could do what he wanted. Brown was a control freak.”

The day Demi died, Caitlin woke at 8am to Brown banging on her door.

She said: “He was shouting Demi had hung herself. He said Demi’s body was cold.

“It didn’t ring true. It was one of many discrepancies in his story.

“I ran to Demi’s house in my bare feet. The police refused to let me in.

“I needed mum and dad to tell me it wasn’t true.

“But Demi was gone, and we have been left with this nightmare of lies and stories that don’t add up.”

Demi’s best friend, Leeanne McMullen, also witnessed Brown attempting to goad Demi into taking her own life.

Leeanne, who had been friends with the tragic mum from their schooldays, said: “Brown was violent and vile. He didn’t care about beating Demi in front me. One time he smashed up my house, trashing furniture, and punching walls.

“He managed to cut his hand and wrote ‘Demi is dead’ on the walls.

“Demi was so terrified that her dad would find out, she made me promise not to tell and we cleaned the house up and got everything repaired.

“Brown had a wicked temper and was so jealous, even the mention of another man’s name would set him off, accusing Demi of cheating on him. She never did.”

Sarah’s regret at saying nothing

Demi's father John, and her sister, Sarah. — Demi’s father John, and her sister, Sarah.

Demi Hannaway’s teenage sister felt so guilty about keeping silent over the domestic violence she witnessed that she was unable to console the grieving father she “betrayed”.

Sarah Hannaway was just nine years old when she first witnessed the violent rages Andrew Brown, 33, inflicted upon 23-year-old Demi.

She remains so tormented over the secret she kept from dad John until after her sister died in May 2021 at the home Demi shared with her abuser, Sarah is still receiving counselling.

Speaking for the first time, Sarah, now 17, said: “I was still a little girl when I discovered Demi was keeping a terrible secret from us.

“She was being battered and abused by the man our family had welcomed as one of our own.

“The first time I ever saw my dad cry was the day Demi died.

“He had always been a big strong man, a hands-on dad who loved and protected us all. But that day his whole body shook with great heaving sobs.

“Huge tears ran down his face as kept saying: ‘Why, why Demi?’

“I wanted to put my arms around Dad to comfort him, but I just couldn’t because I knew why.

“I felt I’d betrayed him. I couldn’t stand seeing that realisation in his eyes.

“Demi had made me promise to keep her terrible secret, and I couldn’t face him knowing that I had.”

Sarah was just 13 when Demi died and the youngster had to grow up quickly.

She said: “The terrible price we paid to keep Demi’s secret was her life.

“I will never forgive myself even though it was what Demi wanted.”

‘Maybe she would still be here if I’d been awake’

Mark Spiers, who was a friend of Demi Hannaway.

Mark Spiers is tormented by the thought that a phone call Demi Hannaway made to him on the night she died may have sparked a furious attack from her abusive partner.

Demi’s friend and former partner says he is racked with guilt over the call because he suspects it was all that violently jealous Andrew Brown needed to launch yet another attack on the 23-year-old.

Mark, 38, said: “Demi and I had known each other as friends for years. We had a short relationship, but we both realised we were better as friends and we remained close.

“Demi was the happiest, kindest wee soul you could ever meet. She always had a smile on her face until she met Brown and everything changed.”

Mark was shocked when Demi began telling him about Brown’s violent rages, sharing vile text messages she received from her abuser.

“She told me he would fly into jealous rages if she or any family member ever mentioned my name,” he said. “I reluctantly agreed to stay out of her life although I wanted to report Brown for daring to lay a finger on her. I seethed with anger, but I kept my promise to Demi not to say anything.

“I kept telling her she should leave Brown. What he was doing was wrong. But Demi would make excuses for him.

“It got to the stage that Demi even began avoiding me in the street because Brown would give her such a hard time if he heard we’d spoken to each other.”

The two friends had not seen each other for around a year when Mark received messages and calls from Demi hours before she died.

Mark is heartbroken that he did not hear or see them because he was sleeping. He said: “I’m tortured by that. I can’t help believing that if I had answered, I would have immediately gone round to Demi’s.

“It’s torture believing I might have been able to do something to change what happened.

“Maybe Demi would still be here if I hadn’t been asleep. It haunts me.

“The world is a much sadder place without Demi being in it. I know her family don’t blame me, but I can’t help feeling guilty that I wasn’t there for my friend when she needed me most.”