Maggie Listens: My son wants to take a gap year but we think he should settle down and get a job

Dear Maggie:

My son finished his degree at university this year and his dad and I fully expected that he would get a good job and settle down. But he surprised us by saying that he was going to “take a year out and go travelling”. We never expected this and I have to admit it came as a bit of a blow.

Neither my husband and I can understand why after four years of hard work and studying, he would choose to do this rather than further his career.

It is a big worry to me because the world is such a dangerous place and what happens if anything goes wrong and we aren’t there to know and to help?

Maggie says: What your son is suggesting is not unusual. Lots of young people after years of studying, just want a break and some time and space to themselves.

So I suggest you try to take an interest in his project. Ask questions about where he plans to go and what he wants to see.

By all means make the point that you hope he will keep in touch regularly by phone or email. The internet has made all of this simple and more possible.

Don’t make him feel guilty about wanting to travel. Hopefully he will enjoy the experience and learn a lot.

If he goes with your blessing, he will feel happier – and so will you.