Life according to… Surrealist comic, Milton Jones

The surrealist comic talks the perfect joke, Mock The Week… and spuds.

What makes the perfect joke?

If a gag works, it makes a cartoon in someone’s head – a very brief picture where they think they know where it’s going, and then you pull the carpet from under them and it was about something else all along.

It’s reverse engineering from an idea or a phrase.

Your last tour played to more than 100,000 people and you have appeared on Mock The Week more than 40 times. What’s more fun to do, a live show or TV?

Going to a small place on a Saturday night where they’re all determined to have a great laugh – I don’t think that can be beaten. With radio orTV, you’re as good as the edit, so it’s out of your control.

With Mock The Week, when I think I’ve done a bad show, I’ll watch it back and think, “Oh, it was all right”, but when I think I’ve done a really good show I’ll watch it back and think, “Oh, it was all right”. It all evens out.

Do you always watch your appearances?

Yes, as I need to know what they used and what they didn’t. Doing several episodes, the same subjects may come back, so I don’t want to say the same thing that has already been aired.

I’m very grateful to Mock The Week. It’s a younger audience, and those people will come to a tour show, sometimes even bringing their grandparents or parents. My audiences are a motley selection of people, which I quite like, actually.

How do you cater for those different generations?

I’m aware if I make a reference to Instagram or something I’m going to lose everyone over 50. But that’s fine because overall my references are quite general, and even if you didn’t get it, the joke’s only going to last 20 seconds, so there’ll be something else along soon enough.

When do you consider a joke finished?

When I’ve got an idea over in the minimum number of words, then I know it’s done.

The new tour is called Milton: Impossible. What made you decide on the spy theme?

I came up with the title before the show! I thought: “That sounds good!” So I made a rod for my own back by theming it. But sometimes it’s easier to write to a theme than have a completely blank page.

The show is based on Mission: Impossible, but the films have a huge budget and lots of special effects. My show is just me, some hats and about 250 jokes.

So the show has a narrative?

If you’re going to do a show for more than an hour you can’t just tell bits, you want something with the veneer of satisfaction, otherwise it’s too fragmented.

This show has an interrogation scene, a car chase with a swivel chair, and I end up escaping on top of a Vince Cable Car. It’s not strictly realistic, but it’s as daft as ever.

You have a Radio 4 series in the works, the tour and more Mock the Week episodes. After that?

I don’t have anything else planned but who knows what will turn up. Sometimes the unexpected things that come along are the most interesting – other quiz shows, a corporate event abroad – things you wouldn’t have predicted.

Like doing Celebrity Mastermind, you know? You get to meet and talk to people you wouldn’t otherwise.

What was your specialist subject on Celebrity Mastermind?

Potatoes.

Potatoes?

If I’d taken it seriously I’d have done something like Arsenal. But when he announced it – “Your specialist subject is potatoes” – the audience all laughed.

I came last, obviously. But I’m employed as a comedian. It’s entertainment. If I get to do it again I’ll choose carrots.

Milton Jones is at Volunteer Hall, Galashiels, Caird Hall, Dundee, Tivoli Theatre, Aberdeen, from Friday to Sunday