Moderator’s message: Fed up with the never-ending, soul-destroying argy-bargy of Brexit? Love is all you need

IT dominates the news, fills the airwaves but, in some families, has become the subject no one talks about.

And with less than eight weeks to go before Britain leaves the European Union, the acrimony between those who voted Leave or Remain is only going to get worse.

Which is why one of Britain’s best known church ministers has made a plea for people to not let Brexit ruin their frienships and family relationships.

Instead, the Rev Susan Brown, Moderator of the Church of Scotland, wants us all to focus on one thing: Love.

Even if, as she frankly admits, its not a subject that Scots are particularly good at.

Writing in Life And Work, the house magazine of the Kirk, Rev Brown said: “As we move in these uncertain political times, to what is a different future for this nation, we need to not only to know what love is, we need to live it.

“This February let’s make love real and let’s make it count.

“Let’s deliberately and intentionally go out of our way to make room for others around us. Life is too short to make enemies of friends. If we do, we may have all eternity to regret it.”

Romance has certainly featured in the Rev Brown’s career, as she became Britain’s best known cleric in 2000 when she officiated at the wedding of Madonna and Guy Ritchie. She also baptised the couple’s son. Since then she has also tied the knot for Ashley Judd and Dario Franchitti.

But Rev Brown, 60, has claimed Scots are not very romantic.

She Scots prefer their wooing to be much more “earthy.”

She says: “I think it’s fair to say that Scots are not exactly renowned for their romantic spirit.

“Compared to the French or the Italians, we are at the other end of the pendulum swing, away from the flowery, soppy stuff, towards the more ‘earthy’ or practical. ‘You dancin’? is not really one of the most poetically framed or inclined questions.”

Her view, she admits, is in stark contrast to the hordes of couples who flock to Scotland each year to get married because of the romance and the fairytale landscape.

“Scots have never been ones for wearing their hearts on their sleeves.

“We have tended to go for what’s ‘real’ and as a result, we have seen and said things, as they are.”

Love, she said, was much more than just a passing romantic moment.

“Love is not simply a feeling or a chemical attraction, it is something which is deliberate, powerful and incredibly strong.”

Rev Brown found herself at the centre of a media storm during and after Madonna’s wedding at her church, Dornoch Cathedral.

“I had no idea just how big an impact Madonna’s wedding was going to have. The village of Dornoch was under siege for weeks. It was a crazy time.”

But the singer is not the only famous name the minister has met.

As the Queen’s chaplain, Rev Brown is invited to spend the weekend at Balmoral whenever she is conducting the service at Crathie Kirk.

She said: “I remember the first time I stayed at the castle. I was shown into one of the drawing rooms to be introduced to the Queen. She was sitting at a table playing patience.

“I felt like I had wandered on to a film set of some big movie. It was such a surreal experience but Her Majesty made me feel instantly at ease. She is so kind, warm and open to conversation. She’s wonderful.

“When you are at Balmoral, you are treated like one of the family. You eat all your meals bar breakfast with the Queen and the other house guests, who could be anyone from the Prime Minister to the younger royals.

“I’ve also had the pleasure of walking the grounds of the castle with the Queen and her corgis – another unbelievable experience for someone who grew up in a wee council house in Penicuik.”

Rev Brown can lay claim to a number of firsts for women.

She was the first female minister in the Highlands, the first female minister of a cathedral in the UK and is now Scotland’s first female Moderator.

And she is not afraid to speak out, including taking on the education establishement with her concern that more children are self harming and taking their own lives because of the “coddling” they get from an education system which does not prepare them for failure.

Meanwhile, figures show fewer people are tying the knot.

In 1961, there were 40,562 weddings in Scotland, with more than half conducted by Kirk ministers. In 2017, there were 28,440 weddings overall: more than half of those were civil ceremonies with only 11% by the Church of Scotland.

The Roman Catholic church conducted 1,182 marriages in Scotland that year, compared with nearly 7,000 in 1961 and nearly 2,000 a year a decade ago.

The Kirk these days attends wedding fairs looking for business.