Calendar An icon of a desk calendar. Cancel An icon of a circle with a diagonal line across. Caret An icon of a block arrow pointing to the right. Email An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of the Facebook "f" mark. Google An icon of the Google "G" mark. Linked In An icon of the Linked In "in" mark. Logout An icon representing logout. Profile An icon that resembles human head and shoulders. Telephone An icon of a traditional telephone receiver. Tick An icon of a tick mark. Is Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes. Is Not Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes with a diagonal line through it. Pause Icon A two-lined pause icon for stopping interactions. Quote Mark A opening quote mark. Quote Mark A closing quote mark. Arrow An icon of an arrow. Folder An icon of a paper folder. Breaking An icon of an exclamation mark on a circular background. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Caret An icon of a caret arrow. Clock An icon of a clock face. Close An icon of the an X shape. Close Icon An icon used to represent where to interact to collapse or dismiss a component Comment An icon of a speech bubble. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Ellipsis An icon of 3 horizontal dots. Envelope An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Home An icon of a house. Instagram An icon of the Instagram logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. Magnifying Glass An icon of a magnifying glass. Search Icon A magnifying glass icon that is used to represent the function of searching. Menu An icon of 3 horizontal lines. Hamburger Menu Icon An icon used to represent a collapsed menu. Next An icon of an arrow pointing to the right. Notice An explanation mark centred inside a circle. Previous An icon of an arrow pointing to the left. Rating An icon of a star. Tag An icon of a tag. Twitter An icon of the Twitter logo. Video Camera An icon of a video camera shape. Speech Bubble Icon A icon displaying a speech bubble WhatsApp An icon of the WhatsApp logo. Information An icon of an information logo. Plus A mathematical 'plus' symbol. Duration An icon indicating Time. Success Tick An icon of a green tick. Success Tick Timeout An icon of a greyed out success tick. Loading Spinner An icon of a loading spinner. Facebook Messenger An icon of the facebook messenger app logo. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Facebook Messenger An icon of the Twitter app logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. WhatsApp Messenger An icon of the Whatsapp messenger app logo. Email An icon of an mail envelope. Copy link A decentered black square over a white square.

Maggie Listens: My family want me to sell my home and move somewhere smaller. But I don’t want to

© DC ThomsonMaggie Clayton, our resident Agony Aunt.
Maggie Clayton, our resident Agony Aunt.

Dear Maggie

My husband and I bought our home more than 30 years ago and we raised our family of two sons and a daughter there.

My husband died last year and I have continued to live there alone, but the family think the house and garden are too much for me to cope with and are urging me to sell the house and buy something smaller.

I know that makes practical sense but I love my home, which holds so many memories

I enjoy pottering in the garden. I love having my grandchildren for sleepovers. I have good neighbours and friends in the village where we live. So why must I make a decision to sell my home?

I know the house is a lot of work but I am fit and healthy and I’m not ready to give up a happy home to settle for some small, manageable flat just because my family have decided that’s best for me.

Am I being a difficult elderly woman? How can I get my family to understand how much this means to me?


Maggie says

You have expressed clearly what so many people feel as they grow older. They know their family wants what seems like the best option for them, but in their heart they just aren’t ready to give up the place where they have spent so many happy years of married life.

Our homes hold memories of living and loving. To walk away from that is something we cannot easily contemplate and, unless necessary, why should we?

It seems to me you still feel able and competent to run your home. So why not enjoy that for a bit longer?

Try talking to your family about how you feel. Explain to them you are physically able to manage the house and garden and if, in time, you can’t then perhaps a move to somewhere less demanding will seem a good idea. But not yet. While you have the energy and the determination to enjoy your home and all the memories it holds, then you have every right to do so.

Families can be a bit over-controlling when it comes to elderly relatives. They are doing it for what they see as the right reasons. But at this age you have earned the right to make your own choices.