My own child has inspired me to make her proud, says daughter who lost mother to bowel cancer

AS Elaine Alexander holds her son, Owen, in her arms, she can’t help but think of her own mum.

Elaine was the same age as her little boy is now – five – when she lost her mum to bowel cancer.

Margaret Bennett was only 38 when she passed away, taken quickly and cruelly from her three kids, who were all under 10.

It’s 25 years since Elaine and her older siblings, Ross and Fiona, lost their mum but there isn’t a day passes when Margaret isn’t in Fiona’s thoughts.

“Day to day is normally fine but there is always something that will make me think about Mum, but you just have to keep going,” explained Elaine, who lives in Bonnyrigg, Midlothian, with husband Andy.

The family has been organising a series of fundraising events and, now that Elaine and her siblings are all in their 30s, they decided it was time they were tested for the bowel cancer gene.

“We were getting to Mum’s age, so the three of us decided to have the screening and thankfully we don’t carry the gene.

“It was a relief to know I hadn’t passed it on to Owen or my brother to his little girl. My Aunt Aileen, Mum’s sister, was checked too and also had the all-clear.”

Elaine, a pharmacy manager, wants to make people more alert to bowel cancer.

“We’re trying to be proactive and take the silver linings from what happened to us, and if that means more people are exposed to bowel cancer and chat about it, then that’s a good thing.

“When people receive the tests through the post asking for a sample, hopefully they’ll do it, because the earlier it’s detected the better.”

For Margaret, the diagnosis came too late.

“Mum was feeling out of sorts and knew something wasn’t quite right,” Elaine, 30, explained. “She went to the GP and was sent for tests and that’s when they found it.

“It started in her liver and progressed to her bowel and then spread.

“I think if she was diagnosed today she would have more of a chance, but there can never be too much research.

“I’ve always thought of Mum, but since Owen was born I’ve felt the need to do more.

“She was so young and now that I’m getting to that age, it makes you think.”

Elaine’s Aunt Aileen and Uncle Lawrence were like surrogate parents to her and she credits them with helping her through the tough times.

“They took us under their wings and Aunt Aileen helped to bring us up. She felt it was her duty to look after us, but never a job.”

Now Elaine, Andy, Owen, Fiona, Aileen and many of their and Margaret’s friends will take part in Bowel Cancer UK’s Walk Together event in Edinburgh on Saturday, where they will add to the £4650 they’ve already raised through various events.

Elaine added: “My mum would have been delighted and really proud of what we have achieved so far.”

Visit bowelcanceruk.org.uk/walktogether