Scone Spy: The Farm at No 12, Inchinnan, is a charming gem

I KNOW what you think – the role of Scone Spy is an absolute dawdle.

All you have to do is peruse the petit fours and surmise the scones. Wash them down with a cuppa then dish out the scores.

Not as difficult as being a high-flying barrister, is it?

Oh, but mayhaps it is.

Last week, your humble Scone Spy mentally donned some swishy robes and one of those itchy-looking wigs to dish out some legal advice.

That’s right – Scone Spy became Scone Solicitor for a visit to The Farm at No 12.

If the owners of this café-cum-farm aren’t careful they might find themselves hit with a cease-and-desist order.

The Farm at No 12 is so close to Glasgow Airport you could describe it as a stone’s throw away.

Or perhaps that should be a…scone’s throw? Well no, because then you’d be chucking a cake at a runway which would be a waste.

The Farm is close enough that you get a decent look at the arriving and departing aircraft, if you’re into that sort of thing.

But that is but only one of the many appealing points about No 12.

First, we’re greeted by a mini farmyard and its denizens. Look, it’s a couple of Shetland ponies!

“Are you a little horse?” asked Scone Spy, but the tiny steed didn’t laugh. Probably heard that one before.

Our wee horsey chums were joined by a couple of pot-bellied pigs, and three soulful-looking alpacas.

Scone Spy likes a warm welcome and the owners of this wee café are just lovely people.

How are you? Lovely day! Have you been before? Take a seat!

All that nice stuff which tells you a pleasant experience is on the way.

We sit outside in something called a Tiki hut, a wooden Hawaiian shack, for a spot of lunch because sometimes one has to warm up one’s stomach before a scone.

I opt for a spicy chicken burrito. That’s right – Mexican food, in a Hawaiian hut, watched by a Peruvian alpaca, in Renfrew.

Everything’s as charming as it is delicious, and therein lies the problem.

Wait until the nearby airport management find out about The Farm at No 12. Who’ll want to go abroad with this gem right here?

Tourists will hop off the plane and not make it to Edinburgh Castle.

They’ll be too busy grazing on the cracking lunch menu while gazing upon the pot-bellied pigs.

It’s only a matter of time until VisitScotland try to shut you down, The Farm at No 12.

Follow Scone Solicitor’s advice and lawyer up.

And that’s before we get on to the sweet stuff – in this case, a scone and a brownie.

The rich brownie is good, the scone a smasher. It comes with a truck-load of clotted cream.

And the scone was big and fluffy, like the clouds over Glasgow Airport.

No wonder the pigs are pot-bellied.

Verdict

Warm Welcome 10/10, Location, Location 8/10, Scone Score 10/10