Separating couples urged to keep toxic comments off social media

Separating couples are being urged to show restraint on social media as solicitors brace for a spike in enquiries around divorce following the festive season.

Family lawyers say that posts made on social media are increasingly being presented as evidence in relationship disputes.

Scots legal firm Lindsays said lawyers are frequently presented with a plethora of heated messages exchanged by couples who have taken to social media to vent their frustration during a difficult relationship break down.

They are urging anyone considering separation to be respectful – and not post angry messages which could get in the way of the calm, honest conversations which they say are critical in finding a way forward, including for any children involved.

Paige Burton, a senior family solicitor from Lindsays in Edinburgh, said: “The impact of social media is one of the big things we’re coming up against, whether that be Facebook posts about separation, TikTok videos on care arrangements for children – or anything in between.

“We were involved in a case, which unfortunately ended up in court, where hundreds of really horrible WhatsApp messages between the couple involved during their separation were shared as evidence.

“They were just awful. Unfortunately, the person who suffered the most from the acrimony was their young child.

“Separation, divorce or making care arrangements for children can be an upsetting and stressful time. These things are best dealt with when everyone involved shows each other respect. Angry social media posts are unhelpful and only add to the tension.”

© Supplied by Lindsays Family Law

The first working Monday of the new year – this time falling tomorrow on January 6 – is often dubbed divorce day in legal circles, with some solicitors reporting a spike in people contacting them about separating from their partners.

Lawyers say that while the date can be seen as a trigger for change following seasonal strains, it’s often an issue they see develop throughout the month, building as Christmas bills begin to arrive.

Spending time to reach the right agreement can be the key to longer-term success, experts say.

Family lawyers work with couples to try and reach resolutions in separation and divorce cases, avoiding court action wherever possible.

They use methods including mediation and collaborative law, where appropriate, to bring people around the table to discuss their issues – including those around finances – to reach an agreeable solution tailored to their specific situation.

Philippa Abernethy, an associate at Lindsays in Glasgow, said: “We do these things to try and help people take a step back and take as much emotion out of any situation as is possible to help reach an agreement.

“In cases where children are involved, there is always a negative impact on them when things are heated and parents cannot find a way to agree.

“No matter how difficult the situation, it’s important that everyone involved remembers that the other person may be the mother or father of their child.

“With co-parenting, most parents continue to work together in the interests of their child well beyond their childhood years. A positive and cohesive start is likely to make this much easier.

“A more conciliatory approach to dispute resolution, such as mediation, means that, where appropriate, people can sit around a table and work their way through things, rather than letters back and forth between solicitors or ending up in court.”

Abernethy added: “We often find that when agreements are reached amicably – even if they take longer or people have to compromise – they are more likely to work, particularly when it comes to care arrangements, because parent’s who can agree their own arrangements feel in control of that situation.”