"Sometimes I long to be that carefree teen again": Amy Macdonald on her ongoing struggle with anxiety

Her new album is called The Human Demands, and Amy Macdonald has revealed the demands she puts on herself has led to feelings of anxiety.

The singer-songwriter from Bishopbriggs, near Glasgow, says the problem has become worse as she’s grown older, and she often works herself into a “stupor” over worries.

Having signed her first record deal straight out of school and released her chart-topping debut album when she was still a teenager, Amy has 15 years of experience to call upon. But she often longs for those days of being “a carefree teen”, rather than worrying like she does now.

“I suffer from anxiety and worry more than I did at that age,” admitted Amy, now 33. “I take everything on and want it to be perfect, and it can be quite detrimental, it weighs heavy on me at times. It’s something that comes with growing older, but I hate it because I worry and work myself into a stupor about things I can’t do anything about or change, things I don’t really have any control over.

“A lot of artists do similar. We become way more involved. From my point of view, growing older and realising that you do these gigs and put music out, and people are choosing to spend their hard-earned cash on you, makes me feel terrible at times and I feel I need to do whatever it takes to make it worthwhile. When I do a gig, it has to be 100%, because I don’t want people to ever feel short-changed. I feel I take on quite a lot of that a lot of the time. It does have an impact on the enjoyment of it.

“I wish I could switch off at times. I never used to get nervous, but now I feel I get super-nervous about things. You reach a point when everything changes and you start to have these worries and anxieties over things you never used to think about before. I look back and sometimes long for the carefree teen I was at the beginning.”

That debut album, 2007’s This Is The Life, sold more than three million copies worldwide. Amy admits it was strange to find fame so young, but she’s glad it happened when it did, rather than coming when she was older.

Amy said: “I was so young – and I don’t think I realised how young until I looked back. I was signed at 17, my first record came out when I was 19, and I hadn’t really experienced anything in life. So it’s weird to think from that moment I was thrust into this crazy world I knew nothing about and didn’t know what to expect.

“But I’m happy it happened when it did. Being younger and more naturally carefree, I was going with the flow – which made it easier – and I just did it and didn’t think about anything else.

“It would be totally different breaking through now – which would be unusual anyway, because it seems to be either young, new artists or old legends in the industry and nothing in between, which I don’t like. You reach your late 20s and it’s too late to break through.

“I’m glad I was young. Don’t get me wrong, I found myself in situations where I felt uncomfortable or felt I didn’t have a voice, but I learned the importance of saying no to things.

“In this industry that’s probably more important than anything, because you can find yourself in a corner where you don’t feel comfortable unless you say what you feel. Being super-young, that was difficult, but it’s something you learn with age and I’m glad I found my voice in that respect.”

It’s with the life experience gained through these past 15 years that Amy has written her fifth studio album. She describes The Human Demands as a “really reflective album”.

“I feel I’m at a place where I’m taking stock of everything that has happened and also looking forward to what’s to come,” said Amy, who is married to footballer Richard Foster.

“I wrote most of the songs way before everything that’s happened this year. I wasn’t writing about these situations, just life. But a lot of the subjects on the album are extremely pertinent with everything we’re going through. I feel it’s an important record, which has a double meaning now because of the situation we find ourselves in. But I feel lucky. I’m always thankful for what I’ve been able to do and the support from so many fans.

“I’m very humbled by it, because it’s not something I expected.

“If, after releasing my first record, someone had said 15 years on I would be doing album number five and still doing my thing, I probably wouldn’t have believed them.”

Amy’s new record has been described as Springsteen-esque, and she has previously admitted The Boss is a big influence. She even has lyrics from one of his hits, Born To Run, on her wall in neon lights.

Work began on the recording of the album pre-lockdown and was picked up again four months later when restrictions were lifted. Amy was concerned about the effect the break would have on the process, but she needn’t have worried.

“Before, we were all having a ball and it was exciting to see it come to life, so I did worry about getting back into the flow when we had the break.

“But lockdown galvanised us – we were so happy to see each other again and we felt lucky to make music and have a focus. It probably gave us a little push in the end.”

Amy Macdonald with Bruce Springsteen in 2012

Amy has been able to return to some semblance of normality in order to promote the album, travelling to Europe on a publicity tour.

“I was in Germany last week and it was nice to have a change of scenery and focus on something,” she said. “That’s something I struggled with – not being able to do much at home, everything having to be done over a laptop or phone. To come out and do things face to face again has been really nice, and people are so happy to see you coming into a TV studio or radio station – they’re thrilled there are visitors again.”

Amy has a few more TV shows and special events pencilled in to the diary over the next few months. One of those is the Nordoff Robbins Scottish Music Awards, where she will perform and is also nominated for the Women In Music Award. The event, now in its 22nd year, will be staged online for the first time and take place on November 28.

With the Nordoff Robbins charity expected to lose 75% of its fundraising income this year, the awards are more important than ever to raise vital money to provide music therapy to those who need it most.

Something else in Amy’s schedule is a short European tour in the spring, which she hopes will safely go ahead.

“I purposefully didn’t put on a massive tour,” she added. “The tickets went on sale and have sold well, which I didn’t expect, so there seems to be an appetite there. Some people want to put something in the diary to give them something to look forward to and focus on, but I know others are still terrified of what’s going to happen, so not everyone will be comfortable about going back to whatever normal will be.

“It’s nice for me to have those dates written in and look forward to as well, and hopefully by spring we’ll be in a much better place and able to put on gigs again.”

Amy’s fears for live crews

Amy fears for the live events industry after watching friends being forced to take jobs in supermarkets and Covid testing centres.

The singer put on a live-streaming gig last weekend in London, with all proceeds going to the #WeMakeEvents campaign, which aims to raise funds for those in the industry who are out of work.

“People see the artists and think they’ll be fine – and most will be – but it’s not about the artists,” Amy said.

“I couldn’t do what I do without the amazing events crew. So many of them are small limited companies, self-employed or freelance, and they’ve been forgotten.

“So many people I know have had to take up jobs in supermarkets and I know people now working in test centres.

“For so long their jobs have been treated as not important, but they are hugely skilled and have spent years getting to the top of their game, yet they’ve been discarded and told to retrain.

“That’s a naïve thing to say, because when we get out of this we want something to get out to – we want to go back to live events, and if you suddenly have all of these people retrained, then they won’t be there to put the shows on.

“I don’t think anyone wants to live in a world where we don’t have these things to look forward to, so it’s awful these people have been left behind.”

Amy Macdonald’s new album, The Human Demands, is out now