Having hung up the bunnet and cardigan he wore for over 20 years in Still Game, Ford Kiernan has finally found the time to devote to one of lifelong loves: music.
In the past few years since we bid farewell to Jack and Victor, he’s turned his hand to writing and composing – although the genre he’s now found himself in is more rave than Slosh.
Ford has teamed up with Aberdeen DJ RYZY – aka Ryan Mackay – to turn one of his online sketches into pounding techno anthem Coffee Man, with proceeds going to the Scottish Action for Mental Health (SAMH).
“I’ve always enjoyed music and writing it for the shows,” Ford said. “I thought it was a great laugh. I just started getting a vibe for dance music.
“I’ve got a mental eclectic taste for music, anything from Bach to Billy Connolly.
“This isn’t a crack at the dance business, I’m too old for that, but I understand it.”
@fordkiernan1 Coffee man
A conversation with Kyle Falconer, frontman of Dundee band The View, led to Ford heading to a music retreat in Alicante, where the track was one of several ideas he worked on.
“I’m used to writing catchphrases and catchy things and stuff like that. I’ve got a song that I put on TikTok and got half a million hits.
“We messed about, rearranged it and made it a dance song.
“We’re well chuffed with it but there are plenty of people in this business and I’ve had too many caramel wafers to be trudging round the dance scene!”
Fundraising for SAMH
While there’ll be no Ibiza residency in the offing, the track will raise vital funds for SAMH.
A cause close to his heart, Ford, 62, encourages people of all ages to download the song to help make a difference to what he calls an “enormous, widespread problem”.
“It’s just a daft song for a good reason,” he said. “You don’t want to still be going on about the pandemic, but I think the mark that it made on a huge amount of people is still rolling out.
“If you happened to be at university at that time, you missed out on all the parties, socialising, the heartbreaks and all the things you go through in those first years.
“At the other end of the spectrum, you’ve got pensioners who weren’t getting out enough anyway, who became hermits.
“I went to a funeral this week of someone that happened to, a very vibrant person who got very used to being in and never came out.
“Some people, older generations and younger that can’t voice it, don’t know how to turn around and say they’re struggling. That’s where SAMH comes in.”
Still Game?
Jack and Victor’s last TV outing was back in 2019, with the final episode of Still Game seeing the beloved pensioners finally embark on their big adventure up Ben Lomond.
Thousands then flocked to the SSE Hydro in Glasgow later that year for their farewell live show.
A lot of time has passed since then – does Ford miss Jack Jarvis?
“I do but there’s nothing we can do about them because they’re deid,” he laughed.
“People say to me every day, all the time, ‘are you bringing them back?’ God bless, people are trying to help them, ‘aye but it’s ok all you need to do is go back to the 60s’… Aye, aye…
“We did it for a long time. I’ve been Jack Jarvis for 20 years. It’s a good long time. You can never tell what happens – maybe we’ll become an animation.”
Where Jack and Victor live on, though, is in the hearts and cultural conscious of Scotland and beyond.
“It’s flattering,” Ford said. “We’ve kind of slipped into the culture. Greg and I are what you’d term Scotland’s grandfathers, I suppose.
“It’s a nice thing to go along with something you weren’t really trying to be. We were just trying to make a comedy show, but they fell in love with all the characters.”
Since the show has been available to stream on BBC iPlayer and Netflix, it’s gained a younger generation of fans who weren’t even born when the show started.
And look in any tartan-clad gift shop and you’re likely to find some sort of Still Game related memorabilia, from ‘Weclome’ doormats to novelty cards coasters with famous lines from the show.
“When we were signing the Jack & Victor whisky bottles last year, the queue was predominantly made of people who had stuff bought from other stores that had our faces on that we weren’t involved in.
“We worked out there’s actually millions of pounds in that business. If you go on eBay, look how many shirts you can get. We get nothing from it!
“I think it’s a good thing there’s a culture of making some money round about it. We’re not churlish about that because it keeps it alive.
“I can hardly believe it, looking at the size of computers and televisions in the first episodes. I can see a very, very young man done up as an old man.
“We picked a good character to be to grow – I’ve been a 75-year-old man for 20 years.”
Hazel McIlwraith, Director of Fundraising and Major Appeal at SAMH, said: “SAMH is absolutely thrilled to be the chosen charity beneficiary for the Coffee Man song. We’re deeply grateful to Ford for his generous support and recognition. His contribution is invaluable in raising both funds and awareness for Scotland’s mental health, which means so much to all of us at SAMH.”
Steve Wright inspiration
© PAKiernan reckons iconic radio DJ Steve Wright, who died last week at 69, inspired many in the comedy world, himself included.
Wright, whose broadcast career spanned more than four decades, was a constant innovator on the airwaves, including incorporating character comedy in his shows.
“He was right in the middle of when I was working in offices back before I was on TV, that whole environment was just made ultimately better by Steve Wright in the background,” Ford said.
“In many respects, Steve Wright and all the different voices and that zoo mentality was something that was tinkling away in the back of my mind and he was definitely the guy that was planting it there.
“I did a community radio thing in Easterhouse for a while and I loved it. I did characters and all these things on the show live.
“For anyone who has ever done anything remotely like sketches, that’s been in the framework, maybe not a direct influence, but definitely in there and letting you see that you can conjure up an entire different world on the radio.
“The Goons did it as well – that business of being able to put your headphones on, shut your eyes, and imagine a picture much better.”
Coffee Man by Ford Kiernan & RYZY is released on February 23 and is available to pre-order now on iTunes and other music platforms
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