Baroness Shirley Williams shouldn’t make excuses for her unfaithful ex-husband Bernard

“It’s the oldest trick in the book, Shirley. Don’t kid yourself Bernard was vulnerable to women’s advances.”

I’ve always admired Baroness Shirley Williams for her frank, sensible and down-to-earth approach.

She is one of the rare breed who entered politics to try to make life better for people.

But I have to say, Shirley, I don’t agree with your comments last week about your ex-husband, Bernard Williams.

Shirley and Bernard divorced in 1974 after 19 years of marriage. They had one daughter.

Shirley was a Labour Shadow Minister at the time of the split and she offered to give up her career, thinking it was a cause of the problem.

But Bernard, a brilliant philosopher, was having an affair with Patricia Skinner, the young and pretty wife of an academic.

“Bernard was a wonderful man,” Shirley said last week.

“But he was always a bit vulnerable where women were concerned. And because he was good looking as well as clever, he was pinioned by quite a number of, I have to say, hopeful ladies.”

Stop making excuses for the man, Shirley. I just don’t believe that line about “vulnerable” men.

If a man is flattered by the attention of a pretty young girl, that’s one thing. Who wouldn’t be? But while his ego might enjoy the buzz, he doesn’t have to fall for it.

I don’t think there’s a man on the planet who isn’t charmed by a female who listens to his every word, gazes adoringly at him, laughs at his jokes, seeks his opinion and thinks he’s the bee’s knees.

Men need approval. Even the brainiest. Even such a great philosopher.

And the “other woman” knows it. She also knows he may not be getting quite enough attention at home. Especially if his wife has a demanding career, a home to run and a child to raise.

So she gives him all the things he’s missing. She makes him feel good about himself. She makes him feel special. And he laps it up like a cat with a saucer of milk.

It’s the oldest trick in the book, Shirley. Don’t kid yourself Bernard was vulnerable to women’s advances. There are legions of men who would be flattered at being made to feel like a hero again.

From an early age girls learn the art of pleasing. They know almost instinctively what works and what doesn’t. A little charm goes a long way. At school, home, work girls know men respond to their attention.

So of course women learn to use what they have to get what they want. I bet Eve gazed adoringly at Adam as she persuaded him he really wanted an apple from the tree. And look where that ended!

Bernard had a choice. He could have said no to the pretty, younger, hopeful ladies who fluttered around him. Instead he enjoyed it. So no excuses for the man, Shirley.

I admire your kindness in finding reasons for his unfaithfulness but forgive me for thinking that you were the vulnerable one in that marriage.

Not your husband.