We need to protect trusting kids from ‘stranger danger’

We warn our children not to talk to strangers. But a chilling experiment for ITV’s Daybreak proved last week that “stranger danger” means a very different thing to adults and children.

A group of mums in a London park agreed to let a “vetted stranger” talk to their child while they were pretending to be distracted by a phone call. They were all confident their child wouldn’t be lured from their side.

But seven out of the nine kids aged between five and 11 went off with the pleasant man who asked them to help find his lost dog, Maxie.

For one little boy, Jack, it took only 33 seconds before he wandered off in search of Maxie.

His mum was understandably shocked. “Why did you do it?” she asked him.

“Because he isn’t a stranger. He’s got a dog,” he said, bemused. She realised that, as they have a dog and often talk to other dog walkers, in Jack’s mind that made sense.

This should make every parent think twice. You can reiterate the message but the terrifying truth remains who is a stranger?

Is it the scary looking person we tell them about? The man or woman who offers sweets? The friendly neighbour or shop assistant they’ve met before?

Can it even be a family friend or a teenager your child admires? A doctor, a priest, someone working with a youth organisation or a charity?

So many child abduction and abuse cases lead us back to the awful realisation that no matter how savvy you think you are or how carefully you try to protect your child, there are still people in positions of trust who aren’t what they seem.

How do we live with this knowledge?

It’s an ever present fear if you’re looking after young children.

You do your best to emphasise the message stay close to me, stay safe. But, as this experiment showed, it only takes seconds.

Think of little James Bulger walking away, hand-in-hand with two young boys.

You look away for a moment and that’s all it takes for an evil opportunist to strike.

It’s a hard balance to strike between making kids frightened of the world they live in and giving them the information they need to stay safe.

All we can do is tell them that strangers don’t always look sinister. They can look nice.

Repeat the “don’t take sweets/accept gifts/go to look at puppies or kittens” message.

Teach them the simple mantra “don’t go, say no” and to say “no” loudly enough to draw other people’s attention.

I wish children didn’t need to live in such a fear-based world, but the truth is we must do everything in our power to protect trusting children from those who would harm them.

And, uncomfortable as this Daybreak experiment was, it teaches us again that “stranger danger” comes in many guises.