Jackie Collins cooks up a storm in the kitchen

Hollywood is the home of haute cuisine.

From fusion Mongolian-Mexican to Finnish sushi, you can get your hands on nearly any conceivable dish known to mankind here.

Apart from a plate of stovies! It’s nowhere to be found in California and, trust me, I’ve looked.

I’d cook the dish myself, but let’s just say my skills lie away from the kitchen. I’m so bad at cooking we pray AFTER dinner in my house.

My one successful dish was a beef bourguinon I made while living in Stratford-upon-Avon. It took about six hours to cook and was finished in seven minutes flat. Ever since then I tell guests who come over the food will be takeaway a plate of Domino’s over a game of dominoes, if you like.

In a bid to get some help with my awful cooking, I visited my old pal, Jackie Collins. Not content with writing 29 novels, she’s now penned a collection of recipes, The Lucky Santangelo Cookbook. Fans will recognise Lucky Santangeloas the heroine of her novels, and these recipes are inspired by Lucky.

Jackie, wee sister of Joan, invited me over to try out a few dishes at her house in Beverly Hills. It’s always a great laugh going to see Jackie we get on so well. I interviewed her last year in front of a live audience, and thought I’d mention her famous sibling.

“It must be difficult living in their shadow,” I said. “So, tell me, how is Phil getting on with his drumming?”

You could have heard a pin drop in the audience, but Jackie loved it. In fact, it would be my dream to host a television show with her. Unfortunately, a lot of that show would have to be on late at night, since we get a bit carried away with the jokes.

When I first came to Los Angeles, she sent a lovely handwritten letter to welcome me to Hollywood. A touch of class I’ll never forget.

Last week, Jackie whipped me up a virgin cocktail to begin with cue those bawdy gags. Once settled, I asked about her childhood and how she learned to cook.

“My mum was a cook,” she said. “Her speciality was roast potatoes which is the best recipe in this book. I had a lot of Italian friends who gave me recipes over the years for meatballs and spaghetti. These are the types of things in the book.

“Cooking in Hollywood is a lot different to cooking for your pals. I go to all these fancy restaurants and parties and there are all these incredible dishes being served,” she laughed.

“But when I entertain here, I do comfort food. People love coming here because of it. I make things like mashed potatoes and meatloaf.”

Since she likes doing simple meals for fellow stars, I considered for a moment asking if she’s ever wanted to do meatloaf for Meat Loaf. But decided I’d do anything, but I wouldn’t do that. Instead, we get chatting about how Los Angeles is obsessed with diets. Breatherian, Atkins, Paleo that sounds more like Chelsea’s back line than a bunch of weight loss regimes.

Jackie, of course, originally came from a rough part of London she has less time for diets than I have, then again my fave food is buffet!.

“My cookbook is about luxury and decadence,” she added. “If you’re on a diet, don’t bother. I think we all deserve a little treat. If you’re having a night at home, why not have Cointreau and peaches?”

Fans of Jackie will be delighted to hear more from their favourite character, Lucky Santangelo she’s packed the book full of specially-written snippets about her.

Amazingly, it’s 46 years since Jackie’s first book, The World Is Full Of Married Men. On that note, I should point out that it’s less than three months until the book I’ve co-written is out.

It’s a thriller, called Taking Hollywood. I couldn’t miss an opportunity to take advantage of Jackie’s five decades of experience. An advance copy of the book was left with her, which left me incredibly nervous.

It’s like getting your homework marked by the teacher. I’ll let you know what she thinks in the coming weeks.