Listen and learn, it’s the key to a happy family

It takes a lot to make a marriage that works but I’m sticking my neck out here and believing that George Clooney and his wife-to-be, Amul Alamuddin, might actually be the couple that works.

Why? Because George’s mum and Amul’s mum happen to rub along quite nicely. They were photographed shopping together last week in Lake Como.

Baria Alamuddin and Nina Clooney couldn’t be two different women if they tried. Different countries, different cultures, but these two women have one fundamental thing in common they love their children and they want them to be happy.

So often our kids get involved and fall in love with people and we don’t actually understand why. But it’s my belief that if you trust your children, you go with that and do your utmost to accept the person they have chosen to spend their life with.

George Clooney has taken a long time to find that person. The most gorgeous man on the planet hasn’t been persuaded into marriage easily.

Amal Alamuddin is beautiful, intelligent and the woman with whom he wants to share a future.

I bet his mum Nina has been hoping he’d find his significant other, make her his wife and have babies. It’s what mums do. And it makes a huge amount of difference if you accept all the baggage that comes with that.

I’m meaning the in-laws you inherit when your kids marry. You may not like them. You may not share the same views about everything. You may be worlds apart in your thinking.

But remember one thing your child has chosen to marry into this family and whatever it takes you must do everything in your power to make that as smooth, happy and comfortable a transition as possible.

I happen to like the families of the people my children have married. We share the same world view. We want our kids to be happy, successful and prosperous. We are equally dotty and obsessed about our grandchildren. But we are very different sorts of people. That’s actually OK.

But I do think that parents need to take the lead in this situation and understand that when your children marry you lose a little part of them. They make their way in a new situation and their partner brings to that all of his or her upbringing. That may be very different from the way you do things in your family but with a bit of wisdom and commonsense you get to grips with the fact there’s no perfect way.

Life is about compromises. Listening, learning and understanding.